three years ago.
three years i spent
your name on the tip of my tongue, traced down my throat,
washed out with bitter disbelief. 
i never paid you any attention during the first few days. 
you weren't quiet though. 
did the stars write our seating charts? 
i joked about how i was stuck with you.
i thought you to be a heartbreaker, closeminded
and way too cool for me. 
i was in sixth grade,
i was naiive. 

two years ago. 
my archived infatuation with you 
caved in.
i learned to hate you.
distance makes the heart break. 

this year.
i feel embarrassed to write about you like this. 
my feelings have marinated in bullets aimed at us
and the lives we left behind. 
i spent this year 
with our seats separated
because even the teachers know how close we are. 
i would have never had thought we could be friends like
this.