Jul 01
poem challenge: Rights
ellenb's picture

Fear of existence

I go outside –
I fear the strangers
staring 
watching
judging
waiting.

I stay inside –
I fear my father
staring
watching
judging
waiting.

It seems like it will never end.
It seems like I am never safe.
Maybe that's what they want,
what they've wished for
and hoped for
and prayed for – 
for me to be scared,
for me to be terrified to live,
for me to stop existing in their perfect world,
their perfect
stereotypical
heteronormative
male
world
that makes me feel so out of place
my insides feel like they're burning.

Every time I think about leaving I wonder,
Who would want me?
Who would truly want me?
And then I realize
I'm selfish for thinking I'm the only one,
the only one who is suffering, 
the only one living with the burden of who I am.

That's why they call it a community.

So we can all suffer together,
so we can bond over being kicked out of the house
and cry on each other's shoulders
and wait for the Supreme Court to decide
one day we have “rights”
and the next day we don’t.
One day we can go outside and feel threatened,
and the next day we can get arrested for it.
 
ellenb's picture
About the Author: ellenb
Ele B
MSG / CONTACT
RECENT COMMENTS
Author has not made any comments.