Jun 25
rory.carrara's picture

The thing that really ticks me off is...

The thing that really ticks me off is...
that death is all around us. 
That it can sneak up to you, ooff!, 
grabs you behind the back and never lets go. 
It makes me clench my fist, and grit my teeth,
It makes my eyes swell with salty water. 
Like that time I missed the goal in my first soccer game. 
But worse. 
Screaming sounds, not even words, 
escape my mouth. 
Words that somehow I'm hoping will get to that place called..
Uhhh what is it?
Oh yeah, Heaven. 
But since death is such a profound, complicated, word and concept, 
the thing that ticks me off is there is nothing to stop death. 
It sometimes makes me wonder, 
"Why do we bother living when we're just going to die anyway?!" 
"Why does this even happen? Why at this time and why to me?" 
Hospital halls are swarmed with cries and screams and regret. 
Hospital bills surround the desk. 
I remember this conversation with my brother.. 
"Why didn't you try?!" he cries to me.
"Try what?!" I yelled back. 
"To save her of course!" 
"Save her?! You stupid idiot! I helped her live, that was the only thing I could have done."
He just ran. He turned around and ran so hard dust was the last thing I ever saw of him. 
And even though I might say I have an understanding of death, 
deep down, 
it really ticks me off.