Words to my dear friend
1.
running
as if you could
outrun time
as if the high
gave you wings
running
because you
hated that you
saw yourself
when i cried
2.
Cynical--that was you. You never could quite fit
into what happy should mean--what you figured
it should mean (what someone had told you
it should mean)--& so you lay
in the road and waited for something to happen.
You were scared of what that meant, scared
that loneliness could follow you into the dark, that it
preys even when you can’t see your own
fraying hands in front of you. You never
wondered if maybe we were all just hurting
people, beaten & bruised, flattened, scraping ourselves
off the smoldering asfalt because we should
enjoy the sun (another thing
that someone had once told you about living).
3.
summers:
burning in
each other's arms
is the way
I like to remember it
we always
seemed to forgive
each other but
never wanted to admit it
4.
the other night
I dreamt you laying there,
flat on the road.
get up
I had pleaded
as I clawed the river of blood
back into
the crack in your skull.
i love you
When I woke
the river was gone,
but I knew
that the blood
was still running
through my clasped fists.
5.
& the other day we hung a body by the edge
of a river. It was one that we’d both walked
in & maybe even shared at one point. It had
found the good sense to die before we did
& so we strung it up like clothing to dry. You
thought it was us who killed it--for with death
comes rebirth-- but I wasn’t sure.
6.
You
or maybe
I never meant you.
1.
running
as if you could
outrun time
as if the high
gave you wings
running
because you
hated that you
saw yourself
when i cried
2.
Cynical--that was you. You never could quite fit
into what happy should mean--what you figured
it should mean (what someone had told you
it should mean)--& so you lay
in the road and waited for something to happen.
You were scared of what that meant, scared
that loneliness could follow you into the dark, that it
preys even when you can’t see your own
fraying hands in front of you. You never
wondered if maybe we were all just hurting
people, beaten & bruised, flattened, scraping ourselves
off the smoldering asfalt because we should
enjoy the sun (another thing
that someone had once told you about living).
3.
summers:
burning in
each other's arms
is the way
I like to remember it
we always
seemed to forgive
each other but
never wanted to admit it
4.
the other night
I dreamt you laying there,
flat on the road.
get up
I had pleaded
as I clawed the river of blood
back into
the crack in your skull.
i love you
When I woke
the river was gone,
but I knew
that the blood
was still running
through my clasped fists.
5.
& the other day we hung a body by the edge
of a river. It was one that we’d both walked
in & maybe even shared at one point. It had
found the good sense to die before we did
& so we strung it up like clothing to dry. You
thought it was us who killed it--for with death
comes rebirth-- but I wasn’t sure.
6.
You
or maybe
I never meant you.
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