Recent Comments

  • Reply to: Day Dreaming   Tuesday, August 14, 2018 - 11:05am
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    I love your diction in this piece; you capture such a great moment and I can feel all of the raw emotions that build up to the final sentence. Great job, Shannon :)

  • Reply to: Random Question that is listed under non-fiction because I don't know what else to put it as   Monday, August 13, 2018 - 5:56pm
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    Oh yea, I guess it might create a time ripple. So yea... I'll have to come up with a new 3rd one.

  • Reply to: Random Question that is listed under non-fiction because I don't know what else to put it as   Monday, August 13, 2018 - 4:20pm
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    Why didn't I think of Woodstock? Also I'm pretty sure meeting your past self has some pretty apocalyptic results... Has Doctor Who taught you nothing???

  • Reply to: rain from the perspective of a five year old   Monday, August 13, 2018 - 3:01pm
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    Wow thanks for your comment! I've never heard about that story, but it makes sense for one to think that. Anyway, I've changed the title like you suggested. The previous one was one that I had made because I didn't know exactly what to title it haha.

  • Reply to: rain from the perspective of a five year old   Monday, August 13, 2018 - 2:51pm
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    I think I might've already said this once in this site, but Plath once wrote in her diaries about all the rain poems that'd flood into publishing houses after a big storm. It was stated as a negative thing - to stand out, you shouldn't write about ordinary topics. I completely disagree, and you've strengthened that opinion in me! This felt original. Of course we've all heard the rain/tears comparison, but you connected rain and emotions in a new way. The rain spilling out the sides of the bucket gave me an image of emotions sloshing out (rather than raining down) and I thought of the word catharsis before I'd scrolled down to the next line to read that. Well done.

    My only criticism might be playing around with the title a little bit? I don't sense the angst in this piece that I expected after reading the title.

  • Reply to: Abandoned Robin egg + nest   Sunday, August 12, 2018 - 10:02pm
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    It was actually just my phone's camera. It's a new phone and all of my pictures I post will be from it. I didn't expect the amazing detail when I took it, but I'm glad you enjoy it!
    Rowan

  • Reply to: Rain   Sunday, August 12, 2018 - 9:16pm
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    I agree, that was also one of my favorite lines! I'd love to read a little more about that idea: how does rain obscure our flaws? Why does the rain need to stop? Why can't we always ignore our flaws?

    I also really love being out in the rain, especially running in it. something about rain drops carried by the wind into my face makes me feel very alive and part of the cycles of the natural world. Also the sound of rain on a metal rooftop on summer nights, when sleeping in my family's very rustic cabin that we've had since my great-grandmother was younger than me, is one of my favorite sounds in the world. Thank you for bringing me back to those peaceful memories with your beautiful descriptions,
    ~Hazel

  • Reply to: Abandoned Robin egg + nest   Sunday, August 12, 2018 - 9:01pm
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    This image is absolutely beautiful. The contrast between the bright highlights on the nest, and the dark, nearly pure black background, how they highlight the sea blue of the robin's egg, the irregular contour of the nest, all of it works so well together! What type of camera did you use to photograph this?
    ~Hazel

  • Reply to: Rain   Sunday, August 12, 2018 - 10:29am
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    "Rain hides our flaws. Or at least it lets us pretend they don't exist". I love this line. When it starts raining later, I'll be thinking about this. I might take a picture of a puddle or something.

    Thank you for writing this, this really made me think.

  • Reply to: Random Question that is listed under non-fiction because I don't know what else to put it as   Saturday, August 11, 2018 - 5:52pm
    Comment Author:

    1: Go to Woodstock
    2: Go to a Nirvana concert
    3: Meet my past self
    4: Go to a Led Zeppelin concert

  • Reply to: A Prisoner of my Mind.   Saturday, August 11, 2018 - 5:50pm
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    I completely relate with this piece.

  • Reply to: Random Question that is listed under non-fiction because I don't know what else to put it as   Saturday, August 11, 2018 - 4:20pm
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    Proof that Led Zep is one of the greatest band ever, and everyone knows it. Also, you probably absorbed some of their coolness just by osmosis.

  • Reply to: I Wish / Fake Wounds / Bells   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 9:24pm
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    Honestly? The first stanza is based on my sister's dirty face after she plays outside. The second piece is just something I've kept bottled up. It's not supposed to really mean anything, I guess, but when you look at the three pieces together it looks like they're all connected. i, ii, and then iii. Each from a different perspective. Huh.
    The last one was kind of supposed to be a brighter telling of a war, the actual good things about it. Reuniting with the family that should never had had to leave.

    There's no specific war I had in mind. Hopefully it's no war in the future. The first bit was kind of based on settlements in Fallout: 4, where they couldn't have new people with limited resources.

    If you've got ways for me to extend it, shoot. I'm always open to writing new characters and storylines. The things I've written here definitely have ways they could be elaborated on and I feel like if I do it, they'll run the same course as all my other stories. Fresh ideas/words are always needed.

    Thank you so much!
    Rowan

  • Reply to: Random Question that is listed under non-fiction because I don't know what else to put it as   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 9:15pm
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    Queen, just so I could say that I did. I remember jamming out to them when I was a little kid.
    Also, apparently when my mom would listen to Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" when she was pregnant with me, I'd dance. Like she'd actually feel me kick to the beat.

  • Reply to: I Wish / Fake Wounds / Bells   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 8:05pm
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    The contrast between childish innocence and the stark image of war in this piece is very striking. I think you could extend of off those ideas even more, and I could give some suggestions as to how, but I have a few questions first if you are willing to answer:

    I'm wondering what this is based on? There's a lot of different images and narratives in this piece, and I'm trying to piece them all together. Is this based on a specific war, or is it a general portrait of wartime? I'm really interested, and hope to learn more soon,
    ~Hazel

  • Reply to: 49 flames.   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 6:45pm
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    This is so beautiful and relatable. The sensory details are really incredible, thank you for sharing!

  • Reply to: My Birthday Gift   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 4:30pm
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    Wicked cool!!

  • Reply to: Today's Tiny Write   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 1:51pm
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    oops! I didn't realize that the daily tiny write is a continuous post... I feel stupid now...

    Lovely tiny writes though everybody!

  • Reply to: what i will tell the hairdresser   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 12:50pm
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    I love your comparisons..."Tendrils of fire"..."little coils of rope"...dead cells". Awesome imagery. Not to mention, I am one of those people who grow out their hair (well, long enough that I can stand it) and then chop it all off. Long live short hair! I really related to this. Thank you!

  • Reply to: 17-year-old Thoughts on a Thursday Morning   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 12:44pm
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    IrishJayne,

    Funny thing is, the likely reason each of the places I mention are very vivid is because I've been to each one! This poem is about my options for college, and it was fun thinking how different each option is as I was writing. Thank you for your response!

  • Reply to: Clean Ultra Fresh Lemon Scented Dish Soap   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 12:35pm
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    Aesythe,

    Thank you so much! I would have to agree..sometimes I get stuck trying to write because I want it to "mean something" or have an important message...but pieces like this are a joy to write and pop up all the time in daily life. So glad you enjoyed it!

  • Reply to: A Celestial Body of My Own   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 11:48am
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    Drift, I think this is one of my favorite pieces I've seen from you. Your imagery is visceral, and I can almost see you stomping your foot down as you rip out your heart and claim ownership over yourself. That ownership is reinforced by you steadfast ownership over your own words and expression here, too. You may admit you "don't know how to love yourself," (if you yourself are the narrator here, and I don't mean to make too many assumptions), but that doesn't matter; the "come-away" message and feeling to this is that you're going to stand up for yourself and your beliefs anyway.

    "I love myself as a god." Wow. Please, please make a voice recording of this poem soon. There is so much power and conviction in this.

  • Reply to: wondering and remembering   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 11:34am
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    This is such a reflective piece to read, as I'm sure it was to write. The examples of friendship you use are specific and give lots of strong images, but are faint enough that they do embody "friendship" as a concept - not just your own friendship(s) you may be talking about. It made me think of my own relationships with people back when I was in school. And that goes the same for both the good images and the bad, for it reminded me of the loss of some of those relationships, too... "Wondering and Remembering" feels like such a fitting title.

  • Reply to: titanic   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 9:47am
    Comment Author:

    There's a wonderful, pounding rhythm to this poem, which works really well with the theme of raging waves.

    I was wondering about the word choice for the first line. Is it saying that the victim of the waves is lying, or that the waves themselves are lying? I assume that it's the victim, since the lines before and after seem to apply to them.

    If that is the case, I think it could be interesting to play around with some other less passive words to reflect the tumult of the ocean. "Clawing", "writhing", or tumbling perhaps?

    Or, if you want to show the calm before the tragedy, you could put "lying" in a separate stanza, maybe in a longer line describing the calm, then have the second stanza with these vivid, short lines.

    One more suggestion on word choice: consider playing with alternate words for "tries" in the second to last line. I think something more specific that shows the malevolent quality of waves hungering for insanity would make this line more vivid.
    Examples: hungers, rages, tears, throbs, etc.

    Let me know if you have any questions about my suggestions. Keep writing!
    ~Hazel

  • Reply to: Brain Waves   Friday, August 10, 2018 - 7:58am
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    I won't pretend I fully understand this piece, but I'm not bothered by it - I'm intrigued, actually. I feel the need to reread it again and again. It's funny you mentioned "codes" in this, because it feels like a coded writing, like there's something in here I must solve to get to the meat of it. It reads as prose poetry for me, but much more experimental. I'm going to come back to this later today to see if my mind has made any further associations...