Rusty DeWees

Liddle’s got a one leggid dog. Dog’s got one leg. It’s missin’ three. Dog’s name is Craig.

Hedgehog trap eliminated his right rear one. Said goodbye to his left front and left rear ones on July the fourth nineteen hundred and eighty-five, ya see,

Liddle had been bucked inta the keg beer over to Cecil Maxim’s independence party quite hard, when all of a sudden he decided that he wanted to do some lawn mowin’. So without so much as biddin’ anybody adue, he staggered cross the field ta home, fired up his nine horse Cub Cadet and commenced ta shearin’, and was doing fine, till he come upon one a them large brown ant hill gal darn cussid things ya come upon when you’re mowin’ – and without hesitaten, he lifted the mower deck two notches, shifted the Cadet down and inta low, as to get maximum unction, raised the throttle leever to it’s peak, and continued over the ant hill, [sounds of mower agitated], and was horrifically surprised when he heard and awful yelp which jarred him into the tardy realization that the ant hill was Craig, and that he’d just lopped off Craig’s left front and left rear legs sending um spewin’ out the eastern side of the mower deck as mulch!

But ya ain’t gotta worry about Craig, he’s got his right front one so’s he can still sit up you know. Little skid plate harnessed under his kiester. He does fine really, just as long as you don’t try that shake your paw thing.

Whaahh, he’s full of mother’s old baked beans anyway: you’ve probably seen him and Liddle out in the field there, Liddle peggin’ the Frisbee, Craig chasin’ after it. You should see Craig chase cars, he does, he’s smarter then your average dog too, cause he knows he’ll never catch one, and he knows that’s fine cause if he ever did, he wouldn’t know what the heck to do with gol darn thing anyway…..just turn on his skid plate and drag himself back home, just the same thing that any other three of four leggid dog would do.

Craig’s favorite time is the fall of the year. That’s when Liddle takes him for long afternoon drags through the woods.
Craig likes that.

Liddle set’s him down onto his old flyin’ saucer, the same one he used to go snow sliding when he was a boy.
Craig likes that.

They go up the same long steep winding loggin’ road every time.
Craig likes that.

Craig stay’s alert, all the way up, smellin’ of the fall air, and fallin’ leaves, and of Liddles old gray tattered Johnson Woolen Mills huntin’ coat, that he’d just barely gotten out from the camphor wood chest the night before. That’s the same chest that Craig oft takes catnaps atop.
"The smells of the fall drags; Craig likes that"

And when they get to the top of the loggin’ road, and Liddle gathers Craig and up an into his arms cause it’s too hard to control the saucer on the way-down- through.
Craig likes that.

And it’s the kathwamp, kathwamp, kathwampin’ of Liddle’s footsteps, as he bucks inertia headed down the hill with the load, combined with the warm afternoon sunbeams streakin’ through the tall spruces and the now half foliated hard woods, n’ down and onta Craig’s soft, shiny, button buck brown fur, that put’s Craig ta sleep, in Liddle’s arms. Craig likes that.

And when they get back home and Liddle sets Craig n’ down an into his dog bed, and goes and gets his favorite dog toy, and set’s in between his remaining leg and floppy ear and pats him on the head three times and leaves the room while Craig lies asleep, just enough to be enjoyin’ the rest, and just enough to be enjoyin’ the tender loving care that Liddle has given to him.
Craig likes that.

But he didn’t like it when he got run over by the gol darn lawn mower.

We greatly appreciate Rusty's stories and his efforts to pass along his ideas to Young Writers. Do him a favor; visit his Web site, thelogger.com, buy some of his DVD's or his recently released books or go to one of his shows! He'd like that! Or e-mail him a comment.

Rusty DeWees, aka “The Logger,” is a performing artist and writer living in Elmore, Vermont. He grew up in Stowe, played basketball at Champlain College and lived in New York City for 11 years where he worked at an auction house and acted as much as he could in theater, movies and television.