to be insoluble

I went to the lake alone
Hypnotizing winds of turns
Led me here
Bony feet screaming now
In premature raw waters

I wanted space but maybe less of it
Maybe less of it from myself
The world here is all double-sided
But i still see nothing but shaky outlines

Stare down the barrels of water ripples
Murky pebbles become cannons of war
Wreaking havoc to a suppositional world
This isn’t my natural habitat

Sand and water of pure silk
satin spirals cascading around my rubber skin
carressed by a calming essence
cold waters unphased by the sun's penetration

I withold my breath
Attempting to contain my exuding disorder
but mayhem is humanity's aura

Feet planted firmly in muddy battles
Chaos echoes in bubbles
The language of tragedy; silent yet vivid
Spectating my own crime,

What if drowning is defensive?