Poetry

my life was almost normal—
 the kind of life
 i used to dream about
 when i was little.

i had friends.
 i laughed more.
 i breathed easier.

I am the forgotten dead.

I have no friends and no roof over my head.

I am the forgotten girl that you only hear about in stories and books.

My salvation

The song.

Not supposed to at school

I do it anyway

How else can I think?

Not straight.

Walking on board

Dreading the chatter

Nonstop noise

Chaos

Hate it hate it hate it.

She has many sides

a faceted diamond

clear and shining

she drapes herself over the landscape

engulfing the cool orange of fall in her white satin robes

cold and gleaming

I cry because my love could lose her livelihood for loving me and yet she loves

I cry because to live is a gift I thought was curse and now I refuse to die

I cry because today we are not great, but someday we could be good

Is violence all we now know

Can we know now how to stop this

Can we turn a table upside down

Down is up is what is the upside

What is the inside of a killer

Is their DNA barbed wire

Why’re we like this

People enter, stay for a few floors,

Then 

            They

Blue softness and warmth

Blue peace beyond all else is

A warm blue sweater

i want to be you.
 i want to unzip myself
 and step into your skin.
 wear your smile like armor.
 speak with your voice
 and not feel it shake.

i just want to be someone’s first choice.
 but i never am.
 i’m the second thought.
 the backup plan.
 the friend you drop when someone better walks in.

why?

it’s a small world,
 you say—
 after seeing me
 for the first time in years.

i thought you’d ask,
 what happened?
 what’s wrong with you?

my hands curl around the flimsy plastic folds of my shopping bag

as I walk home through streets tight and winding. 

it is a sunny morning, 

crisp and clear,

and magic.