Mental Health

Restless, alone, 
in my cold bedroom 
Where piles of dirty, laundry, and 
untouched dust lay 
waiting for someone to remove 
But why remove dust if no one will come, 
why pick up the clothes if no one will see them 
All my friends have gone 
I'm the only one here, I'm all alone 
So why move, why try to lift myself 
from bed, why try to fight the weight 
in my soul 
Maybe I deserve to be alone
Why postpone my inevitable end,
unbeknown I could have flown, to the 
Eiffel Tower and bound off the edge 
Falling into the depths 
But you know, 
how could I do all that, 
when times blur in my mind 
When was the last time
food touched my lips or 
water rolled down my spine
A day or two ago 
Nonetheless I have to get up 
Not far just a few steps 
to the book at the other end of my room 
But that book is my savior, it's Pages filled with words
about magical lands and adventures with friends,
filling my head with hope for the day ahead
Water running down my back, 
the heat cleansing my dirty skin helping me get ready again 
Pulling sock on one after the other 
Shoe after shoe I step outside 
where I take a gasp of air, 
feeling the sun on my face 
Breeze through my hair relaxed and satisfied 
at least until that fear came again in a swarm
Taking a breath I think who would 
soothe the blue
The women with purple shoes at the school 
The one who raised and fed me
Maybe that person, that one person I  trust 
The therapist who could stare in my eyes, 
in my soul and read my thoughts, 
tell me how to take control 
He could do what I need, what I pleaded for,
and finally peace 
Taking the stroll back home 
putting everything in my mind to rest 
Kicking of my shoes, off I skip
into that small bedroom 
filled with scents of apples and spice
from the candle that burned at my bedside  
I’m home peaceful and whole 
I take a deep breath and can sleep again.