Maria

At night I dream
Of what the days will be
Of the place I take,
When I am not fearing every mistake.
The cloudy nights,
Where stars remain hidden,
I take on these fearful dreams
And untangle the strings of my every thought.

What do you do when you feel as though you are coming undone.
A piece of string unwound, and the entire metamorphosis stunned.
Just asking for a friend. 
She feels her heart is tearing inside and ripping out her lungs.

We say I,
Yet we never see,
Our eyes eternally shut.
Our mouths wide open. 
We say, I 
Over and over again.
Hoping for it to take on a different note,
Wishing for our hopes to not choke.
I, 

I painted my room yellow to combat the grey.
To wash it away,
To stare at it blindly,
Without being blighted.
It stares back at me.
Unexpectedly-
To be honest.
Instead of warmth,
The feeling matched the weather up north.

Banging on a broken vessel in the spirit of its changing.
Carrying it without cause to nurture its growth.
While I deteriorated. 
While I loathed. 
You broke me. Shattered, threw, hated.