Emerson.K

all my life, 
i’ve dreamt of leaving,
of getting out
of here
and leaving my past behind,
putting distance between it
and myself

so what hurts the most
about not leaving
is not that i’m unable to,

I stood in front of the window 
for two hours, yesterday.  
There used to be a beanbag chair 
where the bookcase is,
and I could sit there
watching the street through the screen

I pretend that I can feel
the heat of the sparkler in my hand
even though the flame is six inches away. 
I run from the doorway 
into the backyard, 
quickly, 
but the light is gone before I'm even 

If only I could reach 

a little farther,

then maybe I could reach

the bottle of water just beyond the ledge. 

But I’m not tall and I don't have long arms, 

not like Adam, 

I’m told I’m too young to say “was,” but I see how things have changed.