Posts
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Sentimentality
Sentimentality
all the time
wishing to be younger
to be somewhere else.
I wish that I was in fourth grade again
and everyone was friends
and everyone was happy and content
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Everything
I want to write about everything
the steady rain
the misery
the end of school
the upcoming event
the natural world
the current political universe of doom
but I can't phrase it
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Enough
Constantly
all the time
I feel like crying
I've just had enough
enough of the girls accidentally hitting us with balls in P.E. class without them apologizing
enough of depressing experiences and losses;
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I'm here
I'm sorry
I won't say why
because we both know
and we're both handling it differently
but I'm here
I'll be here for a very long time
so if you need me
just tell me
okay?
I'm here for you.
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Suffocation
I fell
The ground didn't catch me, though
and I'm still falling
suffocating in my own sadness and grief
in shared sadness and grief, actually
except that it hit you harder
because you were closer to her
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Missing
I didn't even realize how old she was
and she's not even my cat
and I didn't know her all that well
but I'm still crying
because she's not going to be there anymore
Loves
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Not jealous, not sorry
Your goal is to make me jealous.
To make everyone jealous.
Even your friends.
Friends? Or followers?
You're all leaders and not very good at it anyway,
And guess how that works out,
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Thoughts
I lie awake in bed
With my thoughts -
No AC and it's hot and humid.
I open a window.
It doesn't help.
I can feel the ghost of you in my every movement.
The blankets you snuggled into,
Just last night.
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A pawprint in clay
All I have,
For everything.
A pawprint
In clay.
That's it.
Thousands of trinkets, toys, stuffies.
Folder upon folder of random junk.
Papers and pencils and packs of gum
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You were there
You were there.
You were always there.
You were there for me
When I couldn't be there
For myself.
You took care of me.
You came running and jumping onto my bed
When I cried -
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Choices
It's a choice, every day.
It's a choice to love someone
To reach out your hand
To open your heart
And it's a choice to keep loving them
Through thick and thin.
It's a choice to stop.
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Me, Myself and I
I feel completely
Lost
Alone
By
Myself here.
No company
Could fix this.
Drowning in my own emotion,
Melting in the not-yet-summer heat.
I can't think straight,
Can't be