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where do ripples come from

i wonder

these little 

escalating things 

perhaps they come from

the speed boat 

a few paces out 

sharp short

and jagged 

or maybe 

Now that it's summer

the museum I live almost next to always has a concert going on

sometime around 5 going to 9:30

the bass inside of my ears

as I try

and fail

to fall asleep.

It was the time of year

when it was summer

but it wasn't miserably hot

wasn't disgustingly humid

it was the perfect in-between

the Goldilocks zone of summer.

It was a double camping trip

my family

I have been told

To put curl cream in my hair

Upside down, eyes 

Straining against the ceiling light,

Curls straining toward the tile floor,

Bunching.

I will smell

Some days I look through my folder

Flip through my books

Scroll through PDFs

And I just don't want to

Just don't feel like it

Just not in the mood

And suddenly I am terrified

Terrified

Sometimes I think

Of what my life would be without this

Without the conductor who changed my life

Without my duet partner who taught me how to perform

Without my instrument

Without the music