Posts
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Stay
I saw a photo of our band from last year
our Wind Ensemble
the intern we all fell in love with
the conductor we adore
everyone was together
and I just...
gah.
I wanted to yell STAY
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Looking back at my photos on an old walkman at 9 p.m.
Sack race
thirteenth birthday party
start of seventh grade.
My two BFFs since kindergarten,
the one that slipped in from fourth grade,
the two I met in fifth -
then of course my party girlfriends
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Smiling into my pillow
How lucky am I?
To feel loved?
In a household and a family and a school that makes me feel not worth it
not good enough
and I found someone outside of it all who loves me?
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Fourteen - expectations
You get older
nothing gets easier.
Everything only gets worse.
I have mountains of expectations
over fourteen years of my life
it feels like so much
it's so little
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The value of a Christmas gift to people who aren't family
I want to get you a gift
for Christmas
because
I want you to know that you're special to me.
And it really is that simple -
but I don't know what to get you
The age-old dilemma
something cute?
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Growing up in 6/8
My band conductor has always said that 6/8 plays itself -
it does.
It's easy to just play through but not if you think too much.
I grew up in 6/8
my life plays itself
yes I make mistakes
Loves
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hardcore crushing
what do the wings write, light in the sky
tales told to the whistling, empty guy
stellar moon that turns eyes hibiscus pink
darling dark hair, shining star, who slips his hand away in the morning
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Life goes on
it was bound to happen eventually
the death of a best friend
but now
now is a bad time
on hannukkah
what kind of a miracle is that?
now im miserable
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rejection
I've always
been scared
of rejection
so I
don't do
anything
i hold
myself back
from things
others do
i've always
been scared
of rejection
so how
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Shedding our skin
It's December already
I've been alive for over thirteen years
over thirteen years of learning and growing
making mistakes and accomplishing feats
of finding myself and uncovering layers in not only myself
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transcendence
The cymbals clashed. The audience erupted. The lights flipped on. And then, it was time for us. Time for the dozens of hours we had spent practicing to pay off in three minutes.
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Quiet heartaches
I thought you didn’t care.
You laughed the same with everyone,
spoke easily,
walked away like nothing stayed behind.
So I told myself
I was imagining it—
the way your eyes lingered