QueenBee

I guess I've been thinking

The story mountain we made

And the characters didn't even get their lives told

Because ours crashed and burned before we could handle it

Nope

I'm not going back to school.

I'm going to ignore the back-to-school ads

And shopping trips

The packing

The new outfits

The brand-new pencils

I won't do it

Noise

Warming up

Keys

Fingerings

Chatter

Laughter

The chorale

Stopping

Starting

"Again"

"I know you can do better than that"

Serious but

You also love it

Cornered

I put my hands up

Like you taught me

Only now

You're the one attacking

"Helping" because

You "just want me to feel better"

And I braced for impact

I'm distracted.

Why did I let myself become so reliant

Dependent

So stupid

Ugh I'm so mad.

So mad.

I let myself become distracted by silly things I could want

I let myself want them

Beauty is

Not hiding being a thick mask

A thick layer that is not you.

Beauty is

Not wanting to be someone's doll

Someone's plaything

We are not here for decoration.

Beauty is knowing what you want