QueenBee

I was...what was I?

I was happy.

I was free.

I had such a rush of a year

That I forgot...everything else.

Full steam ahead

Days blurring

Like a train.

Plowing through.

I warned myself.

You said

I seemed relaxed.

Not tense,

Like I feel,

Constantly.

Not curled up into a tight little ball

Against the world.

You said 

I seemed loose.

I don't feel loose

Culmination.

Wrap-up.

Climax.

Soon to be the end.

The end of what felt like forever.

How do I tie up the ends of my life like this?

How do I say goodbye

Guilty pleasures.

I know they are.

I know I shouldn't.

I know all this.

Do I listen?

No.

Have I ever listened?

No.

Checking the doc.

Not active anymore.

Hadn't been

I don't know you anymore.

I learned this

Today.

Gone is the silly boy

As tall as I was

That purple beanie obsession

We all shared -

Tank tops in summer, Crocs all year round,

Not anymore.

You stand up

To take a solo.

Before, I've always smiled

At it.

Seeing you solo

Is incredible -

Just watching you -

I may not know you,

But I know you

By how you play.