Here's what I need. Next time you speak to me, call me a baddass before you talk or ask about my ass. I need every person who makes an objectifying comment, sexual advance, or otherwise problematic innuendo, to imagine they're saying it to their baby sister. To their neighbor. To the kindergarteners we walk past out in the world, to the mothers who fought so hard for equal opportunity in the workplace. I need each and every person to ask themselves before they speak, "Does this sentence use a woman as an object? Am I going to benefit the people around me by saying this, or am I simply insecure?"
Because while I can recover from your comments, jokes, and phrases that are seen as normal in our culture of harassment, I don't know if she can. I don't know if the next girl can. I can't sit back and watch while those around me suffer. This language is not normal. It CANNOT be normal. It's ludicrous that women are subjected to crude comments wherever they go.
A year ago, I wouldn't recognize harassment if it slapped me from behind. Social media allowed me to believe that "pound" was a sex term, when the actual definition is "to reduce to powder or pulp by beating; to strike heavily or repeatedly" (Merriam Webster). When people misunderstand language, they underestimate the power it has over those who do understand.
Please, before making a joke that feels normal, that feels ok...I ask that we all take a step back and ask ourselves, "Who might my words hurt? What do the words I'm saying mean? Why is this OK for me to say?"
Just take a moment. Breathe in, then out. When you mess up, apologize. Ask how you can do better. A fair few of us will explain why your comment hurt.
Be brave enough to say that you made a mistake.
Because while I can recover from your comments, jokes, and phrases that are seen as normal in our culture of harassment, I don't know if she can. I don't know if the next girl can. I can't sit back and watch while those around me suffer. This language is not normal. It CANNOT be normal. It's ludicrous that women are subjected to crude comments wherever they go.
A year ago, I wouldn't recognize harassment if it slapped me from behind. Social media allowed me to believe that "pound" was a sex term, when the actual definition is "to reduce to powder or pulp by beating; to strike heavily or repeatedly" (Merriam Webster). When people misunderstand language, they underestimate the power it has over those who do understand.
Please, before making a joke that feels normal, that feels ok...I ask that we all take a step back and ask ourselves, "Who might my words hurt? What do the words I'm saying mean? Why is this OK for me to say?"
Just take a moment. Breathe in, then out. When you mess up, apologize. Ask how you can do better. A fair few of us will explain why your comment hurt.
Be brave enough to say that you made a mistake.
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