Poetry

I pick at my skin

on a daily basis.

Rub my finger over

my acne scars and oily skin,

trying to convince myself

I'm this "imperfect slice of perfection"

all these influencers

claim I am.

Night loved Day so much, 

she folded back her dark, starlit cloak 

to make more room for Day’s light to bloom 

and spill gold over the World.

I hate it 

when people say

 it'll be okay,

 and that they understand.

 But they don't. 

They don't understand, 

because they aren't me. 

I've been here before

I know this feeling

the impending sense of

happening.

It's going to happen

it's inevitable

is this a mistake?

I will back off so fast if you tell me you don't want it.

I don't know you

I want to

but not yet.

I know you are more useful to me as a faraway rival

of extraordinary difficulty

than as a friend right now

I also know I won't have a choice next year.

We hold hands and they call us lovebirds,

But they are too colorful and noticeable,

Not nearly strong enough as your grip,

As your hands around my waist,

Keeping me from falling (but it's already too late.)

One day I hope to leave

this world encapsulated by a wall far too high for my eyes

to reach.

Looking up is an exercise

that twists my heart in the process

because when did movements 

for old times' sake

is such a pretty sentiment

like

let's do it

for the love

that used to be here

for the memories that used to be young

let's do it for the time

i've always loved the smell of paper

and i get to decide where everything gets to go.

when i hear a sound

i'd rather see what it is 

than cower and wonder 

what it could be.

for a tortoise, i think i beat the hare. he ran from everything yet always won. whether it was to give up friends or to just be right. now i pass him as he naps on the side of the road. i need a nap too, though.

Lavender walls

Stare at me

Painted a lifeless white,

I swore they were purple.

I try to grasp onto any memory 

That I could think of.

 they say I used to be so free,
 as if I set that freedom down
 somewhere careless
 and forgot to pick it back up.