Poetry

what do the wings write, light in the sky

tales told to the whistling, empty guy

stellar moon that turns eyes hibiscus pink

darling dark hair, shining star, who slips his hand away in the morning

reminds me of crows billowing, in the middle of the day when I can see their wings

of snow and christmastime, falling bright orange or blue, covering shadows

watching it all from up high

I saw a photo of our band from last year

our Wind Ensemble

the intern we all fell in love with

the conductor we adore

everyone was together

and I just...

gah.

I wanted to yell STAY

Sack race

thirteenth birthday party

start of seventh grade.

My two BFFs since kindergarten,

the one that slipped in from fourth grade,

the two I met in fifth -

then of course my party girlfriends

The tides still ebb

The sun still rises

The trees still grow

My curls are longer now.

We have a new president new governors

Different colors speckling made up maps

Division.

How lucky am I?

To feel loved?

In a household and a family and a school that makes me feel not worth it

not good enough 

and I found someone outside of it all who loves me?

I used to have a purpose here.

Words would open,

and people would step inside them.

Photos would breathe,

and someone would stop to look.

Now it feels like I’m slipping—

here,

I wish I could see the world like a puzzle

with each piece

having one

rightful

place.

But there is far too much 

idealist romantic

in me 

for that to be the case.

I think

You get older

nothing gets easier.

Everything only gets worse.

I have mountains of expectations

over fourteen years of my life

it feels like so much

it's so little

Every time I open my eyes I see a different world staring back at me. 

Sometimes it’s beautiful. 

Sometimes I hate it. 

Lately, I've seen more hate than love. 

it was bound to happen eventually

the death of a best friend

but now

now is a bad time

on hannukkah

what kind of a miracle is that?

now im miserable

“i hate you”

“leave me alone”

“i don't wanna see your face”

you hate the way i turn off your light when you focus

or continually walk by your room until you notice