Camp

Shattered moments

Gathering in my mind

Like when we went blueberry picking

And gave up on it

Because there were only a few ripe ones

And Z taught me that the green ones are actually pretty good 

And we started a competition

"How many blueberries can you catch in your mouth?"

And tossed them to each other

Diving among the bushes

All of us

My cousin and I and

Z, L, and E

And then we went to play Sardines in the Breeding Barn

Dusty musty place

Huge

Hiding

Followed E around closely

Because his spidey-sense eventually led us to the hiding place

Dove under cobwebby vehicle without thinking

Claustrophobia

Panic

Z was right there

Crouching next to where I was lying flat on my stomach in the dirt

Packed like literal sardines

Underneath a crusty old nonfunctioning car

And he got the spiders out of my hair

And I was okay

And very dusty

And very dirty

And on the ropes course

Homemade and I didn't trust it

But everyone had fun and we were all laughing

And J kept saying "Remember, you're not going to die"

Super helpful

And we had so much fun

And then at the lake

Everyone went swimming

We chilled by the shore together

Two pairs of sneakers stretching towards the waves

Searching the rocks for sea glass

Windswept hair, wrapped in my cousin's hoodie

So calm

So content

At peace

And I asked to borrow L's towel

And he said "But it has a shark on it"

What would that have to do with anything?

Cracking up

All his prompt answers were banana-related

And we all played rat slap too

I was terrible at it

Tapping her shoulders and eventually his because she got tired of it

Looking over his shoulder at the cards

Tap-tap tap tap tap-tap tap

And we braided J's hair

And princess-carried E out to the parents

And made delicious flatbread and gave him a makeover

And he just tolerated it all

And we were all laughing

And we made a blueberry crumble and didn't burn it this time

And we all smell permanently like bug spray and sunscreen and manure

What a great week

So many new people

And we all learned to love each other

We all learned to get along

And I was happy around middle schoolers

For the first time in a while