moonriseee

dear diary,

today is Christmas and I got a new Barbie.

she probably doesn’t like me because

i still haven’t taken her out of the 

last year on my birthday

i wished for a soulmate

i didnt get one

not in the way i thought i would

but i have you

maybe you were what i was wishing for

i know youll always pick me

i blew out the candles

and made a wish

i wished for love

like i always do

but something felt

different

more melancholy

like maybe i wont

get my wish

i have my whole life

its starting to ring

the noise in my head

telling me im feeling

something i didn't know

i was capable of.

its getting louder

the sirens

the warning

i dont have a chance

at surviving

you dont know how close

i was to falling

to plumetting

neither do i

you came along

i cant tell

if you made things easier

or ten times more difficult

i cant tell

if i only tripped a little

you had glitter

spilling out of your mouth

fine as stardust

golden as pollen

falling to the floor

feeding no one

you’re wasting yourself

now all you feel

is emptiness