Posts
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Story Mountain
I guess I've been thinking
The story mountain we made
And the characters didn't even get their lives told
Because ours crashed and burned before we could handle it
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I Won't
Nope
I'm not going back to school.
I'm going to ignore the back-to-school ads
And shopping trips
The packing
The new outfits
The brand-new pencils
I won't do it
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Glimpses
Noise
Warming up
Keys
Fingerings
Chatter
Laughter
The chorale
Stopping
Starting
"Again"
"I know you can do better than that"
Serious but
You also love it
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Cornered
Cornered
I put my hands up
Like you taught me
Only now
You're the one attacking
"Helping" because
You "just want me to feel better"
And I braced for impact
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Distracted and angry
I'm distracted.
Why did I let myself become so reliant
Dependent
So stupid
Ugh I'm so mad.
So mad.
I let myself become distracted by silly things I could want
I let myself want them
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Beauty
Beauty is
Not hiding being a thick mask
A thick layer that is not you.
Beauty is
Not wanting to be someone's doll
Someone's plaything
We are not here for decoration.
Beauty is knowing what you want
Loves
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sweet/heart
you remind me of ๐๐๐๐๐ช decay. in a pop-up cartoon store, flies buzzing around your flushed eyeballs.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐๐๐จ๐๐๐ and with hearts still in your eyes. tell me whether it hurt when they loved you.
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Quick on the Draw
You
love me
fast, miss me
faster, I ran to
you, now running away takes
much longer. To get to you
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If Only I Could Hug the Stars
If only I could hug
The stars;
Perhaps I could shatter them
And cup the shards
In my palms,
The cracks constellations
Aligning with my veins,
But that isnโt close enough
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The walls I built up
Every time you try to get close, I push you away...
Every time you ask if I'm alright I don't know what to say...
I'm always saying sorry even if it's not my fault...
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Drowning in the unknown
I am tormented by slight movements
even silence is hurting me
reality seems to be strobing
or something like it -
I've yet to learn how to explain these moments to others,
even myself.
It's not normal,
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Anticipation
This is the worst kind of anticipation
this anticipation isn't just fear of what is to come
it's laced around the edges with knowledge of how it went last time
of how a repeat of last year is most likely inevitable.