Reply to: Hide AwayThursday, November 15, 2018 - 11:17am
Comment Author: ShanRippWriting
I really like the repetition of the first line of each stanza. It creates a nice flow to keep me moving through the piece. I think this is great!
Reply to: Hide AwayThursday, November 15, 2018 - 10:59am
Comment Author: wondering about rain
I really enjoyed the repetition in this peace, I feel like you used some pretty good imagery in it as well! Have you heard of the Villanelle poetry form? I feel like you would do great with that, you can look it up, an example of that form is the poem "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night".
I also wrote a villanelle on my page as well. Awesome work though!
Reply to: Ginger JamThursday, November 15, 2018 - 10:40am
Comment Author: ShanRippWriting
This was so sweet and I smiled the whole time reading it!
Reply to: UnrequitedThursday, November 15, 2018 - 10:40am
Comment Author: wondering about rain
I love this poem, It is so clear and relatable, you worded everything so well. Its funny I wrote a poem a while back called unrequited as well except it was more bitter and I like the way you made yours more longing and almost still warm feeling. Great work!
This took an unexpected twist at the end. I wasn't expecting to have the poem be so bittersweet, but I think that reflects what growing up is like and visiting the places we went to as a young child. Really well done!
Reply to: leavingThursday, November 15, 2018 - 10:05am
Comment Author: ShanRippWriting
I love your word choice in this poem. The whole thing is full of incredible words that make your message stand out wonderfully. Amazing job!
Reply to: worn out inesThursday, November 15, 2018 - 10:02am
Comment Author: wondering about rain
Wow thank you so much! I am glad it left you with a feeling, it was a little bit of a goal for this poem, to give more of a strange grounded sense of knowing rather then something blatantly understandable
This was such a nice and sweet poem! I love the line, "The trees are and hills are beautiful here, with the sun
seeping through them like the rainbow in the storm." There's so much imagery here, it's amazing.
Love love love this. The first stanza really got me and you kept my attention for the whole piece. I can connect with this so well. Thank you for these words.
Reply to: In My ArmsThursday, November 15, 2018 - 9:28am
Comment Author: ShanRippWriting
I really love the narrative you have in this piece. Your imagery takes the poem to another level and I was captivated the entire time. Great job!
Reply to: BeautifulThursday, November 15, 2018 - 9:05am
Comment Author: ShanRippWriting
This is so wonderful. Thank you for this.
Reply to: Rain DaysWednesday, November 14, 2018 - 4:32pm
Comment Author: Eli
Thank you! That would be awesome, haha.
Reply to: worn out inesWednesday, November 14, 2018 - 3:40pm
Comment Author: aesythe
When writing, it's so easy to find yourself describing only what can be seen with the eyes... I often forget about all the other senses entirely, until a couple read-throughs of my own work. Here you have made a study of the sense of touch and let it inspire you (whether that was intentional or not), and the result is beautiful.
There's a lot of ambiguity in this for me, and I won't say I fully understand it - but you've left me with a feeling, and that's quite as good.
Reply to: Rain DaysWednesday, November 14, 2018 - 11:41am
Comment Author: William
I like this writing. And I can hear it in my head, too, as a great rock song!
What a beauty. All the senses are fully engaged in this story. Details like "Blueberry Hill," the exact date, the dewy leaf, sagging bushes, the plump berries that grandmother and child call 'fatties.' They all make the story dance. We can smell the marvelous blueberry pie baking and feel the kindness in that kitchen. I love so much about this story, especially the observations and appreciation of small things like the leaf that sticks to the boot throughout, the card game, the doubled-over laughter. And the title. It's perfect. Thank you, storyteller!
Reply to: Be a WriterTuesday, November 13, 2018 - 8:20pm
Comment Author: zazu
This is great!!
Reply to: Anime ClubTuesday, November 13, 2018 - 1:37pm
Recent Comments
¯\_๏_๏_/¯
I lewm this
This is so cool!!
This is such a wonderful and sweet passage! I love your strong sense of narrative and imagery.
This is a very interesting perspective, I think you've captured this strange feeling really well!
This is WONDERFUL
I really like the repetition of the first line of each stanza. It creates a nice flow to keep me moving through the piece. I think this is great!
I really enjoyed the repetition in this peace, I feel like you used some pretty good imagery in it as well! Have you heard of the Villanelle poetry form? I feel like you would do great with that, you can look it up, an example of that form is the poem "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night".
I also wrote a villanelle on my page as well. Awesome work though!
This was so sweet and I smiled the whole time reading it!
I love this poem, It is so clear and relatable, you worded everything so well. Its funny I wrote a poem a while back called unrequited as well except it was more bitter and I like the way you made yours more longing and almost still warm feeling. Great work!
This took an unexpected twist at the end. I wasn't expecting to have the poem be so bittersweet, but I think that reflects what growing up is like and visiting the places we went to as a young child. Really well done!
I love your word choice in this poem. The whole thing is full of incredible words that make your message stand out wonderfully. Amazing job!
Wow thank you so much! I am glad it left you with a feeling, it was a little bit of a goal for this poem, to give more of a strange grounded sense of knowing rather then something blatantly understandable
This was such a nice and sweet poem! I love the line, "The trees are and hills are beautiful here, with the sun
seeping through them like the rainbow in the storm." There's so much imagery here, it's amazing.
Love love love this. The first stanza really got me and you kept my attention for the whole piece. I can connect with this so well. Thank you for these words.
I really love the narrative you have in this piece. Your imagery takes the poem to another level and I was captivated the entire time. Great job!
This is so wonderful. Thank you for this.
Thank you! That would be awesome, haha.
When writing, it's so easy to find yourself describing only what can be seen with the eyes... I often forget about all the other senses entirely, until a couple read-throughs of my own work. Here you have made a study of the sense of touch and let it inspire you (whether that was intentional or not), and the result is beautiful.
There's a lot of ambiguity in this for me, and I won't say I fully understand it - but you've left me with a feeling, and that's quite as good.
I like this writing. And I can hear it in my head, too, as a great rock song!
great
What a beauty. All the senses are fully engaged in this story. Details like "Blueberry Hill," the exact date, the dewy leaf, sagging bushes, the plump berries that grandmother and child call 'fatties.' They all make the story dance. We can smell the marvelous blueberry pie baking and feel the kindness in that kitchen. I love so much about this story, especially the observations and appreciation of small things like the leaf that sticks to the boot throughout, the card game, the doubled-over laughter. And the title. It's perfect. Thank you, storyteller!
This is great!!
Weeb
This is REALLY good!!