Wow, thank you so much! That is probably one of the best comments I have ever received... (I’ll fix the spelling, thanks for telling me)
Ideas for parts of this poem came sort of from the book “It’s Kind Of A Funny Story”.
If you haven’t read it already you might like it...
Reply to: If You CareMonday, April 23, 2018 - 10:53pm
Comment Author: cinnamonwarmth
hey I just think you should know that I love this poem very very much and I didn't realize you could do this but I am just very very much in love with this piece of writing and I am sorry but damn this is beautiful
I haven't been able to stop thinking about this for the past 3 days now. Anything I write seems weak in comparison. I love this. All of it. I am so hopelessly lost in this poem. I just. can't. No words. (In the interest of more improvement though, "all to familiar" should actually be "all too familiar"
I especially love the bit at the end. Also the bit at the beginning. Also, all of it. This is how I most comfortably write, in that form of you. Nice to see someone else doing it. Anyways, yes. This is beautiful. Thank you.
I really felt all the emotions reading this. I feel as though I'm in the moment and experiencing everything. I especially love the lines, "Maybe it's the kind of pain, you guess,
that hides in the dry spot under the sink,
the place where people keep
extra tissues
for the nights when
tears
are all to familiar." As a note, watch out for some spelling and grammar, I've noted a few places in the text. Great job, Shannon :)
I can really relate to this poem. I feel your frustration and yearning to be able to speak without feeling like you're suffocating, no matter how hard you try. So many teachers and adults don't understand that for some students it takes a lot of effort to participate. I've been told the same thing by a lot of my teachers and I hate the fact that my grade depends on participation. Some think I'm not paying attention because I'm not talking, but I really am. This was wonderful, thank you for sharing. Shannon :)
A very worthwhile rant. I'm sure this crosses everyone's mind at some point, but they may get sick of thinking of it or may be considered "popular" themselves. Here, you described your thoughts and asked us questions that will leave us considering the factor. As a rant, this piece catches the readers attention, and is something most people could just have fun reading. Nice work!
Wow. I know others have beat me to saying this, but wow. I love this. You do so many great things in one poem: you are totally personal and honest without sounding egocentric, your style is professional without being too specific or boring. If I picked a book off the shelf and read this as an intro, I definitely would buy it. Great job :)
cool. I think if you could email me at [email protected] we can work out a plan for you to finish one piece and get a certificate that you've finished. Be well, friend. It's been a pleasure to meet you and hope we see you Wednesday if possible, but undertand if you can't
It's amazing what effect a comment has. I have made some proofreading changes since this is being recommended for publication. To view changes, select Revisions.
You met the right person on that day. This is being considered for publication so I have made some proofreading changes. To view changes, select Revisions. The one detail that I would have liked for you to add would be what made it a great day.
I LOVE this. So much. The language you use is so beautiful and I've learned a lot about who you are with just this one poem. You do a wonderful job bridging the abstract with the concrete. Amazing job, Shannon :)
Recent Comments
Wow, thank you so much! That is probably one of the best comments I have ever received... (I’ll fix the spelling, thanks for telling me)
Ideas for parts of this poem came sort of from the book “It’s Kind Of A Funny Story”.
If you haven’t read it already you might like it...
hey I just think you should know that I love this poem very very much and I didn't realize you could do this but I am just very very much in love with this piece of writing and I am sorry but damn this is beautiful
I haven't been able to stop thinking about this for the past 3 days now. Anything I write seems weak in comparison. I love this. All of it. I am so hopelessly lost in this poem. I just. can't. No words. (In the interest of more improvement though, "all to familiar" should actually be "all too familiar"
I especially love the bit at the end. Also the bit at the beginning. Also, all of it. This is how I most comfortably write, in that form of you. Nice to see someone else doing it. Anyways, yes. This is beautiful. Thank you.
Can't tell you how much that means to me. You're Welcome! And thanks for both reposting AND for telling us.
gg
I just re-posted my poem "Adrift." Thank you for working so hard to get everything up and running again!
Beautiful! I love the rhythm of it.
this gave me chills, but it is so painfully relatable. thank you for being strong enough to share:)
Oh wait I see the highlighted parts now.
Thank you so much! I was wondering if you could point out where the grammatical and spelling issues are. Thanks!
: )
Thank you for your contribution to the #writersforchange page!
I really felt all the emotions reading this. I feel as though I'm in the moment and experiencing everything. I especially love the lines, "Maybe it's the kind of pain, you guess,
that hides in the dry spot under the sink,
the place where people keep
extra tissues
for the nights when
tears
are all to familiar." As a note, watch out for some spelling and grammar, I've noted a few places in the text. Great job, Shannon :)
I really enjoyed this poem! Your rhyming is great and I love the story it tells! Great job, Shannon :)
I can really relate to this poem. I feel your frustration and yearning to be able to speak without feeling like you're suffocating, no matter how hard you try. So many teachers and adults don't understand that for some students it takes a lot of effort to participate. I've been told the same thing by a lot of my teachers and I hate the fact that my grade depends on participation. Some think I'm not paying attention because I'm not talking, but I really am. This was wonderful, thank you for sharing. Shannon :)
I love your imagery in this! Shannon :)
Thank you so much Shannon!
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed!
A very worthwhile rant. I'm sure this crosses everyone's mind at some point, but they may get sick of thinking of it or may be considered "popular" themselves. Here, you described your thoughts and asked us questions that will leave us considering the factor. As a rant, this piece catches the readers attention, and is something most people could just have fun reading. Nice work!
Wow. I know others have beat me to saying this, but wow. I love this. You do so many great things in one poem: you are totally personal and honest without sounding egocentric, your style is professional without being too specific or boring. If I picked a book off the shelf and read this as an intro, I definitely would buy it. Great job :)
I really love this poem. I love how vulnerable, yet in control you sound in this. This is great!!!
cool. I think if you could email me at [email protected] we can work out a plan for you to finish one piece and get a certificate that you've finished. Be well, friend. It's been a pleasure to meet you and hope we see you Wednesday if possible, but undertand if you can't
It's amazing what effect a comment has. I have made some proofreading changes since this is being recommended for publication. To view changes, select Revisions.
You met the right person on that day. This is being considered for publication so I have made some proofreading changes. To view changes, select Revisions. The one detail that I would have liked for you to add would be what made it a great day.
yes i have work at 5 till close but i'm a work on combining this one and the other one might take me time but i'm on it Mr.GG
I LOVE this. So much. The language you use is so beautiful and I've learned a lot about who you are with just this one poem. You do a wonderful job bridging the abstract with the concrete. Amazing job, Shannon :)
Anna!! Hi man