The Dark

Eleven years old, lost in the dark.
Wrapped in sickness,
Trapped inside my body, this body, 
Crying tears of sweat and blood.
I am burning, burning, burning away,
The flesh melting from my bones,
I am alone, no one can reach me, reach me,
Is anyone trying to reach me?
I am a distant sun,
A rising star,
A ghost.
And then-
A hush.
A change in the air,
The sharp scent of rain.
Stumbling through the black,
My legs trying to remember how to move,
Hands searching, seeking,
Feeling the first cool drops.
Cold mud engulfs my feet,
The sweet taste on my lips, the rhythmic beat,
A drum, a heart,
The gods are crying, crying tears of rain, 
My pain echoed by the sky.
I am the dried husk of a flower,
Lifting it’s weary head.
Drinking in this life the gods have given me,
Blooming in this life the gods have given me,
There is none left for you.
Now you are only rising stars,
Scars carved into a child’s skin.
Why were you the ones to die,
And I was left behind?

Eighteen years old, lost in the dark.
The weight of the world above my head,
The mountain, cold stone, unforgiving.
We steal away her body,
Chip away her bones.
One day she will return the favor,
So hold your breath-the smallest shake could bring her down.
There is no sun, no stars.
We left night and day behind,
Discarded at the gate.
There was a man, a man who taught me to play cards.
We bet on battered hands with copper coins we barely had,
Drinking from chipped mugs, looking for a little light,
A little life to fill the empty void.
The day we traded shifts the air was still,
A held breath, the calm before a hurricane.
He wanted a day with his family, with his children.
But when morning came, he never made it home.
And he promised that he owed me.
But when the mountain finally fell, the Queen of Smoke and Tears was the one to make him pay.
He was not the first of her victims,
Not the last to be crushed in the dark.
How many souls have we forgotten?
And why them? Why him? Why not me?
Tell me, is there a reason?
Is there a reason I survived?

Twenty two years old,
Lost in the dark.
Fading from the world, 
The world fading from me.
Hold on, they say, hold on,
And I’m trying, trying to hold on,
But I’m so tired, soul-tired, 
And why should I hold on to my chains when I am almost free?
I can see everything, feel everything,
I am everything, whispers and echoes and thunderous drums,
A rushing river, an infinite sea,
I am timeless, weightless,
I’m almost home, reaching, grasping, 
I feel the end.
I feel a hand pulling me back.
Something is trying to reach me.
There’s a tear inside me,
Violent, breaking,
I am torn,
I am ripped in two, ripped into a thousand pieces,
Pain like everything, pain like nothing, pain in my soul.
I cannot go back,
I need to go back,
I can feel the stars,
I haven’t finished yet.
So I reach back, reach up.
I open my eyes.
Can anyone hear me?
I’m still here. 
I’m still alive.
Can anyone hear me?
I haven’t finished yet.