I Refuse

I will turn the tenderness away when it comes knocking at my door
(I know it will come)
It’s all bullshit anyway
They’re clever though––those thoughts
(I prefer not to gender my thoughts, it’s a tendency I’m trying to stop)
They’re all just convictions
convictions convictions
I guess I should state that I’m not doing this because I’m ashamed or embarrassed to feel
I take great pride
and revel in my ability to feel with such profundity (ask my friends, they’ll tell you)
But I will say no to the tenderness right now
At least in this poem