Inside Cat

Inside cat outside cat, same thing right? Wrong!! These ignorant humans don’t see the difference! To put it plain and simple, inside cats like me don’t get the adventures like the outdoor cats, we have to stay inside lounging, eating, and biting our owners. Humans call indoor cats names like tabby cats, black cats, or sphynx cats. Do you know how insulting that is! All the outdoor cats are usually called stray cats. It doesn’t seem so bad or so good. We indoor cats like to honor the outdoor cats because their bravery is phenomenal, so we call them cheetahs, lions, and tigers. The outdoor cats are categorized by these large cats by what they’ve been through. If you’re a tiger then you were thrown out of your home and showed your bravery by moving on and pushing forward. If you’re a cheetah then you were sick of the life of an indoor cat and became a runaway, symbolizing the speed of a cheetah. Lastly, if you’re referred to as a Lion you are even braver than the tigers, you could be a runaway or a throw-out either way. The reason why you’re so brave and get such a high title is that they help other cats escape their life as indoor cats and become a cheetah. Not to mention most lions also help make tigers, to lower the cat death rate lions will help throw out kitties rise to their full potential and become tigers. I long to be a lion. I’ve been thinking about escape plans to leave this treacherous life, I might even ask a lion to help me. Oh! But wait! The annual lion appreciation party!! There's a party all cats go to, indoor or outdoor, and it’s being held tonight! This party is exactly why cats hate water, we want to look good like the outdoor cats do. Clad in mud, dirt, and grim. All go to the party as dirty as I can to catch the lion’s attention and ask them to rescue me from my home! Although there might be one problem… There are some cats that like the indoor life, they focus their entire life to stay inside and sabotage outside cats and cats that hate the inside life. There are three categories for these cats. Fish, birds, and dogs. If you are a fish you might not do anything against us, but certainly hate us and love, love, love baths. My least favorites, birds are cats that spy, those sneaky cats have figured out so many escape plans! But the only way these plans were ruined were the dogs, they lead the bad cats and are practically the knuckleheads of the group. The dogs do all the action, like real dogs. These cats have the energy to fight and mess up everything! Rumors are the birds figured out where we’re holding the next lion appreciation party is gonna be, if that’s true the dogs are for sure going to attack. This could ruin everything! I don’t even have enough courage to leave my own house, I certainly won’t do well against the enemy. But maybe I don’t go, what if I just stay home? No! That’s not the courage I need! But… I could just leave my house forever and not go to the party and just wait for a lion after the party! This is perfect! I’ll sneak out of my house now, I don’t need a plan if I wanna be strong! I start walking out of the house gingerly trying not to let my owners or neighbors see. As I walk down the darkened street I feel good, I feel unstoppable! The party will be starting soon too, maybe I will go just to show how strong I am. But why does it feel like I’m being watched? Oh no. I can’t believe it I honestly just walked into the lair of the enemy. All around me I see signs saying, birds this way, dogs this way, and fish this way. There are a few cats here but not too many, as expected of indoor cats. Maybe I’ll play along with this though, I could act like a newcomer. Then this small nicely groomed cat comes up to me. 

    “Are you here to join forces or to fight?” the cat says obviously bored. “You look a little too shabby to be one of us.” Well, certainly a rude cat. I look good enough to fit in with the lions. But this cat has a different taste of style of course. 

    “I only look this way because I risked my life getting information for you all.” I lie quickly and surprisingly well. “I figured out where the outdoor cats are meeting up tonight.”

    “Pff, we already know. It’s worthless!” the cat responds snarkily to me.

    “No! They changed it, it’s almost over and in the most unthinkable spot! The dog park!” my best lie yet they wouldn’t be anywhere near the party. 

    “WHAT! Attention everyone deploy all dogs at once! Head straight for the dog park!” the cat screamed at her allies. Honestly knuckleheads! And with that, I headed to the actual party as the bravest outdoor cat around.