Lost in Myself

5 minutes 'till dawn
4 more days until the weekend
3 years since I’ve been lost in time
2 decades it’s felt like without civilian life
1 second I hope ‘till wake up from this terrible nightmare

5 more dreams to have each night
4 more nightmares I have in my restless sleep
3 more times to look at the azure cosmos
2 seconds to zone out 
1 more goodbye I wish I’d said

5 times I’ve changed for the worse
4 more times I’ve wished my metamorphosis from optimist, to pessimist hadn’t happened
3 less banters, I could have had with you
2 opportunities I could have had to win you back
1 chance is all I needed to prove my worth

5 decades have elapsed
4 more times to cry myself to sleep
3 more apologies I make inside my head
2 prayers for those who lost everything
1 ‘I love you’ to the person who knows who I’m talking about

5 times I wished I’d gotten lost daydreaming in the milky-colored clouds
4 times I’d messed up once again
3 ‘I’m getting close to deaths’
2 more times I taught you to hang a spoon on your nose
1 more look at my serene surroundings before I close my eyes

5 times I scrunch my nose
4 more yawns
3 deep breaths because I know what’s coming
2 ‘good lucks’ to future generations
1 ‘I’m sorry’ before I fade away