My future

The gentle breeze of the sea kisses my cheeks in a red glow.
My body is heavy, the weight
Of the world pulling me down.
I can hear it all, the birds in their morning call
And the wolves who howl, their cries to the moon 
Too far to be heard.

It all feels so real, yet I know that this is 
All in my head, pounding thoughts like the
Rattles of a railway station. 
I must be dreaming, be it day or night, I can’t
Snap out of it.
It's such a weird feeling, to know I’m different. 

My mind is my whole world, where the waters 
Are warm to the touch and where ice cream
Never melts. Where pancakes are served
On Saturdays, where the smell of lilacs is ever stronger.

Sometimes, I wish to rid of my mind, to act like 
My peers. It's self-defense in a way, hiding who 
I truly am while riding in someone else's shadow.
I hide myself for years, through my high school years,
Soon through adulthood, from my children, who don’t know
Their real mother. But soon, I change, and they can’t recognize me.
My mind was put to rest for too long
And with all those years of hiding,
My mind has gone weak. 

Soon, I am on my bed, my body light, my voice hushed.
My family crowd around me, their faces wet with tears,
And the room is filled with sorrow. But among the
Sadness and stern faces, I smile.
My body is old, my mouth toothless and my blonde hair 
Gone pure white. I don’t see myself, and I don’t care. 
I still smile, at my family, at the ceiling, at what is to come.

“I have lived a fulfilling life the younger me wouldn’t have ever
Known to have come true. I am happy.”
But now, it's time to kiss my thoughts goodbye,
And fly to the warmth above.”
I close my eyes, and drift to sleep,
My mind now at peace. 
“Finally,” I think. “Now it's quiet.”