Retract and hide

I've recently found myself back in my shell

Pretending to be someone I'm not

And I think I know why.

I've pulled back from people 

Only interacting with animals and strangers online 

I'm not sure why though, it's not like anyone in my real life would notice the change anyway 

I'm falling back into my old routine 

Wake up, feel awful, work myself into the ground, and stare at the scale

What a terrible life 

My masking is constant now

I don't know if I'll be able to take it down ever again

I'm not sure if anyone would care anyways.

I don't recognize myself anymore 

I've always been a stranger in my own body

But now I'm a stranger in my own mind.

I don't know who I am anymore 

I'm lost without my light to guide me, and I'm scared of the dark again.

I hope no one sees my shaky hands.