Saudade

TITLE: Saudade

PROMPT: “Leave” (End with “And now I know why I can never leave”)

I knew a kid once. I knew him so well that as my skin would crawl; his would too. He liked some things. I liked some things. He didn’t like my friends, the others. But he said he’d stay, that nothing could come between us. I believed him. Why wouldn’t I? We laughed at the same jokes, shared the same pain, and promised to always have each other’s backs.

But as time went on, the cracks began to show. He started whispering behind mine, sharing secrets that weren’t his to share. I confronted him, and for a moment, it was like looking into the eyes of a stranger. The promises we made, the trust we built—it all shattered with his lies. It wasn’t the first time this had happened, but it hurt just the same. Maybe even worse.

And now I know why I can never leave. Because every time I try to move on, I find myself back in the same place—trusting, only to be broken again. The cycle repeats, and no matter how far I run, I can never escape the shadow of betrayal.

I’ve always been the nice guy—the one everyone leans on, the one who never leaves. But I have my breaking points. My anger—it’s not something I’m proud of. He knew that. He knew how hard I fought to stay calm, how much it killed me when I failed. And he used it against me. Pushed me until I snapped, then acted like I was the monster.

I helped him through his darkest times, saved him when no one else could. But after all that, he still walked away. Left me with the scars, with the flashbacks that tear through my mind, reminding me of every lie, every betrayal. The sting of it never fades. It is as if my head is trapped in a box, filled with the nicest times he had with me.

And now I know why I can never leave.