Summer Would-Have's

It's summer now, 
& if we were in school
All the girls would be wearing 
skimpy tank tops and too-short shorts
scraps I could never imagine pulling off
& the boys would have an excuse
to wipe their forehead sweat
with the bottoms of their shirts
to show off nonexistent abs

It's summer now,
& if we still had lunch @ school
my friends & I would be
moving six feet over
together
into the shade
& six feet would just be a shift
not a gaping hole
that forces us apart

It's summer now,
& if it was over 90 degrees
We'd be complaining about the heat
The scorching rays of sun
that we all secretly love
& our biggest complaint would be
sock tans
comparing the sudden contrast,
the dichotomy between gold and white

It's summer now,
& if Sadies hadn't been cancelled
we'd be gossiping about
what would've been this past Friday
which would've been my first high school dance
& I'd be twirling in a fancy dress
instead of playing Just Dance

It's summer now,
& if we still saw boys other than our brothers
we'd be whispering in loud voices
and shouting in hushed tones
laying stake to our crushes
that would probably last
no more than two months
& that'd be okay
because we'd have AP exams & finals
to cram for instead

It's summer now,
& I'm trapped in my own home
estranged from everything I once knew
It's barely been two months
but it feels like two years
& I'm reminincing in what would've 
what should've, what could've
even though deep down I know
those memories
this summer
were never mine to hold