Tearing myself apart

It's tearing me apart

Your words echoing in my head

Your eyes shining in my memory 

Im scared of you but it's because of me

I never liked myself 

And when I was yours, I ripped myself to shreds for you

I tried so hard to be good so you'd stay

But like everyone, you left

You were the first person that made me feel wanted

And then you didn't want me anymore 

I know that I'm a sick person 

I'm evil and tainted at the roots

But I just needed some love and a lot of patience

I was repairing that for you

I was fixing me for you

And now I'm tearing  myself apart 

Because the love of my life gone and it's my fault 

I know I could never change who I was

But you don't seem to realize that I can change who I will be

You showed me love, and I'm afraid to find it again 

I'll never get you back

I'll never be whole and I know it

It's not your fault, it's mine

Because I am tearing myself apart, not you

And now I can't find who I really am