Today, I Found Her

Today,
I peered in the mirror
to find a girl
I hadn't seen in a while
rebellious wisps framing
a contented moon
not trying, for once
to reflect the sun's
happiness

Today,
I tied my hair 
half up
half down
nothing ever
absolute
like I used to
not so long ago
replacing my new normal
who-cares-who-sees
haphazard bun

Today,
I was a child again
proudly presenting
an origami envelope
holding the contents
of a graphite heart
her arms draped around me
a mother's embrace
was returning home
never-ending smiles
said and unsaid
我愛你's

Today, 
My favorite
lavender shirt
that I used to wear
to soften the bad days
to feel beautiful
when the whispered voices
told me I was not
slipped off the hanger
and made a black and white day
purple
reminding me
to keep my head up

Today,
The busiest day 
in weeks
maybe months
& instead of sulking
complaining
with this loose tongue of mine
like I might've, before
I had purpose
running through my veins
Alive
turning my blue blood
ripe ruby red

Today,
I found myself
in my eyes
despite the changes
I may feel, inside
it gives me hope
because if she has returned
despite this messy world
perhaps it is not 
impossible
that my life as I knew it
will come back
some tomorrow