You can't fix what's gone

I've recently found myself back in my shell

Pretending to be someone I'm not

And I think I know why.

I've pulled back from people 

Only interacting with animals and strangers online 

I'm opening my phone

To nothing 

No messages, no emails, no missed calls,

All I'm getting is radio silence 

The sinking feeling in my heart returned

The one where you know something is wrong

Stinging my eyes

The tears come

Pouring down

Relentlessly.

Still breathing 

Still warm

Yet dead 

To me

And me alone.

Grief floods me

Again 

I'm drowning