First love. The one you’ll never forget, never truly get over. Knowing that if there was ever the chance you’d run back in a heartbeat, but at the same time realizing that it was never meant to be. It’s hard to forget the person who made you feel for the first time. The person that first spark exploded with. For me, it was Blue.
We met in the third grade. I remember him walking in during our crafts block. Ironically, it was February and we were making Valentines. He had just moved from Arizona, a foreign place to a bunch of eight year-olds. He entered the room, tan skin, dark hair, and scrawny build. Naturally the over-energized eight year-olds clung to him like magnets. Surrounding him like a swarm of flies trying to become his new best friend. I never got that, so I just stayed in my seat, cutting out heart-shaped cards. I was intrigued, but still completely unbothered. Then, a couple weeks later, things changed.
Everyone had gotten sick of obsessing over the new kid, he was old news. I was sitting at the tree, designated as my spot. I was using a stick to draw in the dirt, when Blue came over. He asked if I wanted to play tic-tac-toe, and of course I didn’t say no. We sat there for the rest of the block. We weren’t really talking, but somehow it wasn’t awkward. It was like I knew him my whole life. From that day on, we’d both go straight to our tree. Sometimes we’d play games, or talk, or just lie there. This went on for the rest of the year. When summer came, we didn’t really see each other. Blue had gone back to Arizona to visit family, and I had no way of contacting him. But when fourth grade came around, it was like no time had passed. Except he grew six inches and somehow got even more tan. But we still spent every recess at that stupid little tree. One random day, we were both sitting there, making small talk. And out of nowhere he grabs my face and kisses me. Just a little peck, but that was all I needed to turn red like a tomato. In three weeks, we were dating.
Now grade school relationships don’t count for much. But somehow we were different. We didn’t do the petty things, or ignore each other. We just fit. And we lasted all the way to freshman year. Until he changed schools. It was a clean break, we both decided it was best for us to go our separate ways. However, I was absolutely crushed. I was missing my best friend, my other half. We’d text every once in a while, but it wasn’t the same. Eventually I moved on, talked to a couple other guys. Drowned myself in the fake happiness of shitty relationships, never really getting my mind off of him.
My Junior year I stopped at Cumbies to grab a drink, and there he was. We’d both grown up a lot at that point, finally growing into what our bodies were supposed to be. My heart stopped. I almost just turned around and left, but for some reason I didn’t. We ended up sitting in my car and catching up for hours. We even went and grabbed dinner together. At some point we drove to that dumb little tree, still there all these years later. And just like that first recess, there was nothing awkward about it. Just a natural flow. We talked about everything, school, family, the new people in our lives, and our past. When it felt like everything had been said, we just sat there, looking at each other. Remembering our first love, the one that could never be replaced. But still knowing that we could never be together. He was always the one, my only. It was barely a competition. The look in his eyes, he knew it too.
We met in the third grade. I remember him walking in during our crafts block. Ironically, it was February and we were making Valentines. He had just moved from Arizona, a foreign place to a bunch of eight year-olds. He entered the room, tan skin, dark hair, and scrawny build. Naturally the over-energized eight year-olds clung to him like magnets. Surrounding him like a swarm of flies trying to become his new best friend. I never got that, so I just stayed in my seat, cutting out heart-shaped cards. I was intrigued, but still completely unbothered. Then, a couple weeks later, things changed.
Everyone had gotten sick of obsessing over the new kid, he was old news. I was sitting at the tree, designated as my spot. I was using a stick to draw in the dirt, when Blue came over. He asked if I wanted to play tic-tac-toe, and of course I didn’t say no. We sat there for the rest of the block. We weren’t really talking, but somehow it wasn’t awkward. It was like I knew him my whole life. From that day on, we’d both go straight to our tree. Sometimes we’d play games, or talk, or just lie there. This went on for the rest of the year. When summer came, we didn’t really see each other. Blue had gone back to Arizona to visit family, and I had no way of contacting him. But when fourth grade came around, it was like no time had passed. Except he grew six inches and somehow got even more tan. But we still spent every recess at that stupid little tree. One random day, we were both sitting there, making small talk. And out of nowhere he grabs my face and kisses me. Just a little peck, but that was all I needed to turn red like a tomato. In three weeks, we were dating.
Now grade school relationships don’t count for much. But somehow we were different. We didn’t do the petty things, or ignore each other. We just fit. And we lasted all the way to freshman year. Until he changed schools. It was a clean break, we both decided it was best for us to go our separate ways. However, I was absolutely crushed. I was missing my best friend, my other half. We’d text every once in a while, but it wasn’t the same. Eventually I moved on, talked to a couple other guys. Drowned myself in the fake happiness of shitty relationships, never really getting my mind off of him.
My Junior year I stopped at Cumbies to grab a drink, and there he was. We’d both grown up a lot at that point, finally growing into what our bodies were supposed to be. My heart stopped. I almost just turned around and left, but for some reason I didn’t. We ended up sitting in my car and catching up for hours. We even went and grabbed dinner together. At some point we drove to that dumb little tree, still there all these years later. And just like that first recess, there was nothing awkward about it. Just a natural flow. We talked about everything, school, family, the new people in our lives, and our past. When it felt like everything had been said, we just sat there, looking at each other. Remembering our first love, the one that could never be replaced. But still knowing that we could never be together. He was always the one, my only. It was barely a competition. The look in his eyes, he knew it too.
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