Feb 10

The Fall

It was something
about the calmness
the unusual silence
waving peace above its head
that made me realize the fall
was coming
as if all the chaos
ceased for only five minutes
serving as a hint
a tip
a sign telling me to brace myself
I'm not sure exactly what I am preparing for
but quite honestly it doesn't matter
because I know that positivity 
comes at a cost
and that happiness is a spark 
unable to stand for more than five seconds
call it glass half full
or glass half empty
either way I look at the world in two
I'm pained with holding the weight of my mind
every thought heavier than the last
pushing my shoulders down
making a posture that is stiff and tired
every thought a pros a cons list
where cons always over power
an endless fight 
that is given up every night
and restarted every morning
eyes meet reality before imagination
making hope a thing of fiction
optimism becomes an enemy
to me
creeping in and leaving me unsatisfied
or burdened with having to hide sadness
now settled air
and settled voices
wrap me
and I know that 
I am about to fall
hard
fast 
and unwillingly.