Out of Our Control

When will we stop pretending everything is okay?
When will we admit we don't have things under control?
When will we crack under the pressure of the times?

I don't understand
how you can be so calm
pretending everything is normal
when it's obviously not

I'm huddled under my blankets
crying like a baby
missing school
missing friends
missing life as it was

I just want things to go back to normal
Is that too much to ask?
Please
I'll do anything 
just fix this mess

Why are we pretending that everything is okay?
Why won't we admit that we've lost control?
Why can't we show that we're crying inside
lying inside
dying inside?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay all the time

I don't have to be okay
I don't have to be okay
I don't have to be okay all the time

I'm allowed to cry
and miss what is missing
and let out my feelings
squeeze them out like
water from a sponge

And when I'm done
I'm as hard as a rock
bone dry and
cold to the core
but that's better
then when the tears
were bubbling over 
because even if I wanted to 
I couldn't squeeze one out