Shatter

I stand tall
in front of the world
looking strong and secure
but inside
I am splintering

I must be strong
must not show the cracks
that is not who I want to be
a girl who cries
a fragile girl
a girl who can be shattered

I squeeze my eyes shut
holding back the flood
of hot wet tears
I bite my lip
suppressing the sobs
that threaten to burst forth
I clench my fists
and hold my broken mind together
until I can get away from eyes

They cannot see me like this
they will not
I only show them 
a happy girl
a laughing girl
a girl who always smiles

I cannot hold myself together
eventually I will tear myself apart
if I continue to try
to hold back the unstoppable
the natural
the healthy emotions
that rage beneath my skin
if I keep them from flaring up now
they will only burn more fiercely later
when my hold breaks

But for now
I am hard
cold
unfeeling
I am a statue
shattering 
from the inside out