This poem just came to me one day; I've been trying to write it for a long time. Though it started out as being slightly autobiographical, it morphed into a series of thoughts. from the perspective of a fictional character. It got me thinking about writing a story with her narration, but for now this is her musings about a lost friendship
Can't you see me?
I'm the girl with the reddish brown hair.
The one you walked away from without looking back
The one you left with her fists raised and her eyes afraid.
Can't you see me?
I'm the girl with the light green eyes.
The one you stopped saying hello to
The one you turned your back on
When she tapped your shoulder.
Can't you see me?
I'm the girl who bites her lip when she's confused
Like when you pretended not to understand the inside jokes
When you didn't come to the party
Or the play
Or the game.
Can't you see me?
I'm the girl who tries to keep her tears behind her green eyes.
Because you never thought she was good enough
Because she didn't change herself
So people you thought were better than her
Would think she mattered.
Can't you see me?
I'm the girl who tried to hide in her reddish brown hair
When she finally realized that it was all on purpose
And she knew that if she curled up small enough
And covered herself in her hair
Nobody could hurt her anymore.
Can't you see me?
I'm the girl with the reddish brown hair.
The one you walked away from without looking back
The one you left with her fists raised and her eyes afraid.
Can't you see me?
I'm the girl with the light green eyes.
The one you stopped saying hello to
The one you turned your back on
When she tapped your shoulder.
Can't you see me?
I'm the girl who bites her lip when she's confused
Like when you pretended not to understand the inside jokes
When you didn't come to the party
Or the play
Or the game.
Can't you see me?
I'm the girl who tries to keep her tears behind her green eyes.
Because you never thought she was good enough
Because she didn't change herself
So people you thought were better than her
Would think she mattered.
Can't you see me?
I'm the girl who tried to hide in her reddish brown hair
When she finally realized that it was all on purpose
And she knew that if she curled up small enough
And covered herself in her hair
Nobody could hurt her anymore.
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Grace Safford
Jul 11, 2017
You did a fantastic job of repeating ideas or imagery in this poem. The repetition of the question, the eyes, and the hair, really helped to connect all of the themes of the poem together, and helped the poem to flow wonderfully. Not to mention, this poem is heartbreaking in its emotion, and in how it can relate to so many people and their real life experiences — myself included. Thank you for writing.
—GS, Intern