Becoming

All winter she has been waiting.
Waiting for the light to come; for the colors to fill her eyes.
She has dreamed of this moment,
heard stories, built subconscious expectations,
daydreamed about the day she would fall in love with her surroundings.
She has set goals for herself, compiled an itinerary for the season.
Spent countless hours preparing herself 
for what she imagines to be a beautiful birth
of the earth that has been subdued by the white sheets.

Though, now that she can smell the sweet air,
she finds herself in fear.
She is afraid of the knowledge she will cultivate.

How odd it is that the birth of so many colors can act as a mirror–– a mirror that defines only the
dark blues and violets within us.

She listened to her sorrows play their melody in her head,
Like merciless rulers, and she, a helpless peasant against her restless mind.

Trees turned into flowers, 
Bushes turned into fruits,
Morning became midday and night reflected off of golden skin, purple mountains, and metallic rivers.
She would watch the trees’ silhouettes as the sun would lower,
Trying to pick out details.
She tried to create art that showcased the complexity of the view in front of her, but she struggled to capture the landscape in all of its dimensions.

Soon her life was completely distorted––
Non-important things were deemed important, and important things were deemed as givens.
There was a dissonance between her mind and body. She was strung along by whomever she allowed, which was most people she encountered. She wasn’t able to take ownership of her actions.

Until she saw the brutality the forest, the flower-trees, the fruit-bushes, the mountains all went through. The rain from the storm made the air green, as if the spirits of the plants were being lifted to the sky; shedding their sufferings and regrets and allowing themselves to acknowledge defeat as the rain hit them for hours on end, causing them to reflect on their overzealous start to the spring.

She finally looked at herself and was no longer afraid to learn from the plants, because she knew that they too were alive and becoming.