May 16
Nicole Jasmin's picture

Jumbled

I find myself jumbled;

By jumbled, I mean stuck in my life.

I wonder why no one bullies me, and everyone appreciates me. I just don't understand. There needs to be at least ONE human being in this world who doesn't care for me. 

Why do I cry over little things? 
I have no clue, but during this time I've been crying a lot over small things. I don't know if it's the way I'm feeling, or if I'm just doing it because I like to cause a ruckus in my brain for no reason. I need to stop doing it.

Self-shaming,
That's one word I hear sometimes, but not often. Many people have self-confidence, but I'm not really one of them. I unappreciate myself when I can without anyone correcting me. I like myself at school, but my home self has a very low self esteem. At home, it's easier to drown in horrible words I say to myself. 

Alone? Sure, just not too alone. I do like being alone, but only for a matter of time. I finally feel like hanging with my cousin, Frank, or maybe text someone? Oh wait, I just realized, Frank isn't home. 

I'm not doing this for attention, just to get my feelings out. Ignore this if you want to.