I feel

"Fun is overrated. 

You just always want to make sure

Everyone's happy.

In fact, 

If anything,

You should be prettier. 

Like in life."

I didn't want to be prettier. 

before he'd left

i could find things

because i knew 

i wanted it to be different for me

you talked too much

or not enough

you let yourself go

or your makeup looked too harsh 

I wished I knew all the right things to say. 

Or maybe my wish was bigger than that.

I wanted to always be enough.

***

"I'm fine. I don't know what's wrong with me."