Disappeared

I couldn’t save myself now, everything had disappeared. All I wanted was a poster board and a couple of Mr. Sketch markers. It was Wednesday night, the same night my biology project on Lemurs was due. 

“Why would you tell me to drive you to Walmart the same night it was due, Clem!?” my mom whined.

 “It’s Clementine. Clem sounds like clam, I hate it.” 

She rolled her eyes at my response and ignored me. I tried turning my back at her but I was in the front seat so it only seemed like I had back problems. Still, I hoped she saw my anger. After that, it was all a blur. The only thing I remembered was almost being blinded from the flashing lights and a loud ringing in my ear. A few pieces of glass hit my face after the crash, and that was the last thing I felt. Then, everything went pitch black. It wasn’t heaven, I’m sure it wasn’t hell, maybe purgatory? No, it couldn’t be. There were rainbow decals on the light pink colored walls and a giant teddy bear in the corner, where she sat. Her hair was curly and brown, she seemed sweet, and she was also young. I’m guessing she was about ten years old. Was I kidnapped? But I’m sure I had died. I struggled to get up, soreness had conquered my body. Black spots started to take up my vision but I still somehow managed to get up.

“Clem, come here! Let’s have a tea party!” the little girl shrieked. 

“Clem?” I replied, “I’m Clementine.”

She gave me a puzzled look then skipped to where I was standing. Her small hands held up a glittery tiara towards me. I bent down a little and she placed it on me. Knock Knock. A tall lady who looked like an older version of the girl came in. 

Before she even let out a word I began to beg, “Please, can you help me, I think I died. I don’t know where I am or what happened to me but something’s wrong.” 

The lady sighed, “Hey sweetheart, are you playing with Clem… again? Your dad is almost done with dinner.” 

“We’re gonna have a tea party, mom. It’ll be quick!” the girl said, trying to balance all her teacups. 

“Have fun!”

Well that was rude, her mom straight up ignored me. I turned my head and up on the walls was the name Ellie in wooden letters. 

“Ellie,” I read. 

The girl turned, “Yes?”  

“Ellie, can you help me?”

“After the tea party,” she replied.

That meant my ticket out of here was a tea party. Easy. I fixed my crooked tiara and sat down on the carpet with Ellie. She began to serve me imaginary tea in bright blue teacups. 

“Dinner!” her mom echoed down the hall.

Ellie ran out and I hesitated to follow her. Quickly, I threw my tiara on the carpet and chased her to the dining room. There, her mom sat while her dad was touching up the table decor.

“Hello, please don’t ignore me this time,” I awkwardly chuckled.

No response, again. I began to get irritated with Ellie’s very rude parents and started waving my hands in front of their faces. Why did they keep ignoring me!? They didn’t even offer me dinner.

“Dad, where’s Clem's dinner plate?” Ellie questioned.

“Yeah, Ellie’s dad!” I barked.

“Ellie, we talked about this. We’re not wasting food on your imaginary friends,” Ellie’s dad remarked.

“Clem isn’t imaginary!”

Of course I wasn’t imaginary, they must be pulling a prank on me. But I’ve never met them in my life! Back in Ellie's room after I angrily stomped there, I laid on the teddy bear. A TV was playing in the distance, it was clear that the news channel was playing by the monotone voice and dramatic transition music. I followed the sound of the tv and ended up in their living room. Up on the tv was my face. In big bold letters the subtitle read, “Local 14 Year Old Girl Dies in Car Accident ''. That was me! Questions were speeding through my brain. How am I still alive? How did I end up here?  I snapped back to reality and saw that the news station was interviewing my mom. A huge wave of relief came upon me, she survived. Still, my gut sank as I saw her pained expression.

“She was a great girl, really. She was so young and had her whole future ahead of her but someone decided to drink and drive. The community is going to miss her but I’m glad she’s in a better place,” my mom on the TV cried. 

So I really did die, and I really was imaginary. I always wondered what heaven was like but I guess being the friend of a little girl I've never met is good too. While being disappointed, I walked back to Ellie’s room. Dinner had been finished and Ellie slept soundly on her wooden bed that had colorful hibiscus flowers painted all over it. The teddy bear's giant black eyes captured me. How I longed for those black holes to suck me in and bring me back to my reality, one where I made it to Walmart safely and I was never mad at my mom. I laid by the bear’s gentle and fuzzy fur that dozed me to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up to the distant sound of the TV playing, but this time they were cartoons. I assume I got up late because Ellie was in the living room and already had her school backpack on, ready to go. Her mom had a lunch bag in her hand and gave it to Ellie.
“Let’s go Clem!” Ellie boasted.

I didn’t mind when Ellie called me Clem, it was different. It reminded me of when little kids call dogs a ruff-ruff. I tagged along with Ellie and we scurried outside. We waited for about five minutes until a school bus came. The strong reek of gas coming from the bus caused me to cough violently. When the school bus doors opened, it was as if Ellie’s glow disappeared. She trudged up the bus stairs and when she got in, half the kids laughed. My heart dropped. They were making fun of her. Ellie plodded through the narrow walkway while I followed and she looked desperately for an empty seat. Finally, there was an empty seat at the very back of the bus.

I sat next to her and a silver-toothed kid peeked his head over his seat and laughed, “Hey Ellie, where's your magic friend Clem?”

“Leave me alone,” Ellie begged.

“Stop that!” I shouted.

I wanted to scold him and slap him, but I couldn’t do anything. I was powerless. Weak. Over and over again, I tried kicking the back of his seat but still, nothing happened. 

“Ellie, you have to defend yourself,” I commented. 

Her face reddened, “I just can’t.”

By the time we got to Ellie’s elementary school, her morning had been ruined. I continued to attempt to cheer her up by cracking absolutely terrible jokes that made a slight smirk appear on her face, but that was as far as I got. Soon it was already recess time. 

Ellie finally said her first full sentence of the day, “My mom told me to give out my birthday party invitations to kids at school. I don’t want them to come, they’re really mean.”

“Come on Ellie, I’ll help you!” I exclaimed. 

Slowly, I scanned the playground looking for any kids who seemed even the slightest bit kind. I spotted a group of kids playing tag and I led Ellie to them. 

“Go on, ask them,” I beamed.

Ellie ambled to the group of kids and asked, “Hi would any of you like to come to my tenth birthday party?”

“Of course not, you talk to yourself!” one of them replied.

“Wow you’re turning ten and still have an imaginary friend!” another one cackled.

Ellie’s eyes turned red and began to water up. She turned her back towards them and walked away. I began feeling a bit dizzy, the world was spinning. My head drooped down and I tried to focus on my shoes. They were suddenly transparent. I gasped and started stomping out of panic. Trying to keep my balance, I followed Ellie but it was clear she was trying to avoid me. The final school bell rang and a mob of kids ran out the school gates. I found Ellie and it looked like she was okay now. She hugged me and the tension settled.

As Ellie and I stood under the blossom tree waiting for her mom, the world went quiet. Everything was at peace and we both felt comfort in each other’s silence. Ellie’s presence had brought me calmness and I never felt more grateful to be with her than at that moment. The sweet scent of the blooming blossoms added to the tranquility.

Ellie’s mom arrived and she drove us back home.

As we got off of the car Ellie’s mom sang, “Guess what!? I got your party decorations!” 

Ellie sighed and forced herself to cheer. Her mom believed her excitement. We entered what was my home now and a fresh breeze cooled us down from the spring heat. 

“In contrast, you’re going to have to start doing a few chores around the house,” her mom scolded.
“Fine…” Ellie sighed.

On one hand it was clear Ellie was disappointed she had to start doing chores, on the other hand she was rather excited. This meant she was seen as older, no more little Ellie. 

After another night of dinnerless dinner, Ellie went to finish her chores and I started watching the TV, the only real-life thing I was able to do. Meanwhile, her mom began setting up the bright pink and green decorations around the house. I yawned and my eyes started closing up so I walked back to Ellie’s room.

I walked in and there she was. While Ellie stood next to her teddy bear, it didn’t seem giant anymore. Ellie was taller. Older. I started to cry. It’s not like I didn’t want Ellie to grow up, I just didn’t want her to change. Ellie saw me in despair and comforted me. Imaginary reasons to explain why I was crying flooded my thoughts. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just really excited for your birthday party!”, I lied.

“Me too! No need to be sad!” 

I wiped my salty tears off and Ellie hit the hay.

I finally understood after a nocturnal night full of overthinking. Ellie was growing up and there was nothing I could do about it. At this point, I was thrilled for her. I’d get to watch her go to high school, go to college, get her first car, maybe even meet her kids! I was so excited to start watching Ellie experience the bright future that was ahead of her.

The crack of dawn arrived and I woke up to get ready for Ellie’s big day. I took off my sleeping mask and forced myself to get up. As I squinted my eyes I felt like a vampire. My heart pounded and my head throbbed. I placed the back of my hand on my head and nearly got burnt. It felt like hot coal. There in the mirror, I saw myself, my whole body slightly transparent again. Why? I panicked all over again. 

Ellie finally woke up and I began screaming the happy birthday song from the top of my lungs. She covered her ears to shield herself from my horrible screeching. 

“Sounds like nails on a chalkboard,” she laughed. 

Ellie walked out of her room while I followed and her eyes glistened as she scanned the room, viewing the vivid birthday decorations. Wow, her mom did an amazing job. 

“Good morning sleeping beauty!” her dad beamed.

“Happy birthday! Quick! Go get ready!” her mom added.

After a short wait, Ellie came out of the door in a frizzy blue dress. We all were in awe.

“Stunning!” her mom shouted.

Ellie blushed and started taking in the amazing decorations all over again. Her mom and dad went to the door, waiting eagerly for guests to arrive for the party to start. Half an hour passed.

“Uh oh everyone’s running late,” her dad stated.

Half an hour turned into an hour and an hour turned into hours. Exhaustion took over us all. We were tired of waiting, especially Ellie. Suddenly, my arm started fading. Crazily, I began waving it all over the place. It didn’t stop until Ellie spoke to us again.

“Where is everyone?” she wondered. 

“I’m sure there’s just traffic,” her mom commented.

“It’s because of Clem.”

My heart stopped for a moment and everything around me went silent. It was all my fault. Ellie’s crying, her being bullied, her tenth birthday party getting ruined. It was all because of me.

“I’ll just forget about her. Maybe then they’ll come,” she added

I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt fatigued again and laid on the floor to get some rest. A couple of hours passed by and when I woke up, nobody had arrived except Ellie’s grandparents. I realized I was more transparent than ever. The dots finally connected, Ellie growing up meant she had no more imaginary friends. This meant she would never see me again. 

“Let’s go blow out your candles!” Ellie’s dad cheered. 

Simultaneously, we all went to the kitchen. Ellie’s family exchanged gifts for thank you’s and then it was time for cake. Ellie’s mom brought out a giant chocolate cake from the fridge, too bad I couldn’t eat it. I still longed for the satisfaction of being alive and to escape being an imaginary friend. Then, she lit up the colorful candles on the cake. In union, we all sang happy birthday to Ellie. 

Ellie took a deep breath in and whispered, “I wish to not get made fun of by kids at school anymore. I wish to never feel like how I felt today.”
And then she blew. 

The bitter candle smoke surrounded me. My heart started racing. Thump Thump. I thought it was going to run out of my chest. Bright lights started flashing and my head was spinning. I looked down and saw my legs fading, then felt my arms dissolving. I started struggling to move. Finally, I fully faded away. Ellie was growing up, time ran out. I should’ve cherished the time I had with her. But I couldn’t save myself now, everything had disappeared. 





 

kaylenemagana

CA

17 years old