Jun 18
H20.hollym's picture

Discovery of Strength

How to get home safely in a thunderstorm?
You're 3 miles away- clutching the slick metal frame of your bike as the thunderclouds collide sending tremors worming their way into the small spaces where the worry lies.

Burn it all in the pumping of your legs; feet pressed to the bike pedals.

When the car you don't see speeds out from the garage opening to your side, know later the non-magic of your nerves that drove you to clutch your brakes in a quick-instant; all blinding and fast like the strike of lightning above your head. Y
ou found a difference between your and the lightnings' moment of action.
You discovered the scale of consistency; reliability:
your taught muscles vs. the thin puddle gathered on the concrete; you launch the water droplets into the air.
The human force is a controlled cycle-
and you
are where yours begins
and ends.
Jun 18

therapy session in my mind (pt.1)

(Why can't you 
loosen up a little, 
let go?)

said the boy, 
his eyes quizically turning
and twisting in the light.

I laughed, 
my hollow voice not 
the only noise creeping
loud and dark 
within my mind.

(maybe if i was you,)
i replied, looking out
at the twisted expanses 
that lay stretched before me.

His eyebrows furrowed and
i could almost see the 
questions knitting themselves
in between them.

(Let me clarify.)
i said, my features clearing out.

(when you make a 
mistake, when you lose control
when you mess up, 
the headline will be)

Teenage Boy Makes Mistake

(When i mess up, which i
hope will never happen,
when i lose control,
swerving in and out,
the headline will be,)

Iranian-American Muslim Immigrant Loses Control.
Jun 18

I can't keep fighting

This is the year that will make me snap,
I just can't keep going, 
I can't put up with their bs anymore,
I can't keep crying in my room after a fight,
I just can't. 

Everything is wrong,
There is not a single solitary thing that I get right, 
I can't speak right, 
I can't deal with my pain right, 
I just can't. 

I can't trust them anymore,
I used to tell them everything,
No matter what it was,
But now, I hide everything,
I just can't. 

I can't even tell them I am meeting a friend,
They kill me with everything,
No matter what I say or do,
I just can't get it right,
I just can't.

I just can't and I don't know what to do anymore.
Jun 17

bloodline


my secrets fall from your tongue 

like blood bouncing on snow

staining my hands red 

with the need for your 

validation
Jun 17

Forever And Always

You make me smile
and my heart skip a beat
despite my world
collapsing at my feet

You keep me from breaking
and tearing myself apart
with just a few words
that you speak from your heart

You help me get through
everything that scares me
by always being here
wherever here may be

I love you so much
in so many ways
together, you and me
forever and always
 
Jun 17

The Perfect Night

The cool wind blows
as I sit by the fire
looking up at the sky
thinking about all I desire

The night is dark
but the moon shines bright
illuminating the world
with its precious light

I listen in silence
to little critters around
wishing the moon
would never go down

This feeling is perfect
if only it would stay
but sadly I must watch
it all go away 
 
Jun 17
poem 0 comments challenge: Three

Music

I listen hypnotically
​to the harmony
​pondering it happily 
 
Jun 17

You Don't Belong To Anyone

she's mine —
no.
she's not anyone's
she belongs to her goddamn self.
 
Jun 16

To The One I Lost

Every night I dream of you,
After I cry myself to sleep,
I dream, hoping for a glimpse of you,
Until the moment I wake up.

Everything is a reminder of you,
Eating toast at breakfast,
Sitting by the fire,
Or, having a cup of tea.

Everytime I smile, or cry, I think of how you would be there,
Of how you would already know,
That I was sad before I began to cry,
Or that I was angry before you heard me.

Everyday I make myself remember the times you were here,
To remember your smile,
Everytime you sneezed with that weary, old face, 
Of how happy you were when you sat in the sun and relaxed. 

Now and again, I catch myself thinking of you,
Of how happy you were when you met anyone,
Of how relaxed you were, even in pain,
When no matter how hurt you were, you always showed up for me.

My boy.
 
Jun 16

Up To You

Slight movements,
The flicker of a light,
The rustle of leaves on an evergreen,
The shadows in the sky, changing,
The petals of a rose, wilting, falling

Point is, nothing stays the same for eternity,
We all age, mature,
Inside and out

Yes, we are human, but we are animals,
We're superior, but we are inferior,
We hold power, but no control,
We strive on survival

What are we? What were we? 

I guess its up to you.
Jun 16

Weld

Flowers on her dress,
Socks on her feet,
Her hair let down,
Twirling.

Crinkles by her eyes,
Nails polished black,
Her bracelets clashing,
Midnight.

1930's rolls royce,
Hair like the fifties,
Her dress, satin to the touch,
Dreams.

Crosses and diamonds,
Phone in hand,
Her mind lost in thought,
Weld
 
Jun 16

Somedays by the Sea

As I stand here watching the horizon,
Her silhouette outlined in the waves,
My heart pounding with every spoken word,
The sunset appears red with fury,
I wonder what it would be like if we left,
If we ran away somewhere new,
Started a new life together,
Just me and her, her and me,
The waves crashing against the shore,
Her weeping soflty against my shoulder,
Our lives slowly being ripped apart,
The cracks gradually getting bigger,
Our love growing deeper,
Crashing down on us,
The clock hits 12,
Our tale comes to a standstill,
But our love and hope will never end
Jun 16

Pen to Paper

I watched the way she smiled,
The way she walked when she was angry,
It was mesmerising, the emotion.

When, when she put pen to paper,
Her whole face lit up,
She seemed one.

When she dozed off,
Dreaming, thinking, exploring,
She never quite would come back.

That was, was until she put pen to paper,
Her pen flew across the page,
She laughed, she cried. 

She used to sit there,
All alone,
Just, just listening.

To others she seemed odd,
They never really understood,
Until they read her work.

Day, by day, by day,
She stopped showing,
She came by once every two months.

People no longer know who she was,
I still watched, watched the emotion,
Watched her cry, watched her laugh. 

When she didn't come, 
I knew it was over,
Never, never would I again see those bright blue eyes.

I missed the emotion,
Jun 16

Posted Pictures

I know it is not the same, 
I know that when I go back it'll change

But, somehow that doesn't make a difference,
all that matters is that I am there

I want to have to ignore people,
Smile at the memories

I miss what it was,
I miss what we were

It's strange, everything is different,
But, it is still where I belong

I miss the laughter,
I envy the posted pictures

I never got that,
I never will. 
 
Jun 15

to myself; when i am not feeling like myself

remember
1. that even when you don't recognize the person in the mirror, they have
your mom's eyes and they look a little bit like your little brother. their heart beats
with yours. their fingernails are purple too. 

2. that although you don't feel like you belong to anything or anybody,
someone is thinking of you and someone is missing you. he loves you,
believe him when he tells you.

3. when you don't feel pretty or thin or any of those fucked up adjectives, remember
that you bleed and that you are full of blood and plasma and smooth muscle, among
other things. you are alive and you are full inside. you know this for sure.

4. that just because you look like a real person and not the barbies on the internet
does not mean that you are imperfect. believe me. 

5. to breathe. you gotta do that sometimes. 

6. to always write.
somehow writing helps you to find yourself.
Jun 15
ViolaLover9's picture

how i'm feeling better (or reasons that i love you)

1. i'm feeling better because it hurts you when i'm not. 
2. i feel okay because i know that if i say that and i don't mean it, you won't believe me.
3. i'm feeling semi-normal again because you made me laugh - and i didn't even have to make myself find something funny.
4. i miss you when you're not here, and when i'm feeling sad, i don't want you to have to be around me.
5. i might throw something if i admit to myself that i'm not feeling better at all, and so instead, i'm writing this. 
 
Jun 15
ViolaLover9's picture

Things that fall

They say that whatever comes up
Must come down 
But what about things that fall?

Is there some unwritten rule about
When they can come back up again?
When they can float higher
Chugging their way back up 
To their former vantage point
Like a tiny carnival balloon
Lifted by its helium engine. 

But when that balloon's engine stalls
It doesn't stay still in the air
It tumbles backwards, downwards
Falling ever so slowly
But undoubtedly earthbound.

And things that fall tend to keep falling
So that balloon won't rise again
Sometimes it feels like I won't either.
Maybe this is why this cavern of loneliness
Never seems to end.
Sometimes I doubt I'll ever
Find its bottom.

 

Jun 14

High School Graduation


A past memory
the tedious grind is done
now I can move on.

I sit profusely sweating
waiting for my name to be called
so I can be freed from this monotonous existence
Surrounded by my peers
placid faces I don’t recognize
all wearing the same expression
all wearing the same robes
creating a bland sense of unity.
people stare down at us,
strangers surrounding the claustrophobic space
maniacal monkeys clap in excitement
waiting for the show to start
sweat pours down wrinkly faces
dripping into squinty eyeballs.
The class speaker is ranting on the stage
as I zone out, falling down through the cracks in my mind
occasionally several phrases slip in after me.
none of his words make any sense
or have anything to do with me
something about believing in the future
or maybe living in the moment
stuff about changing the world
something like that
Jun 14
Mr. What a drag's picture

why do I think


It never occurs to me
of why I think too much
maybe because of the fact I want to be free
free from this such.

Or maybe cause I want to reach the stars
the stars that no one ever reached
even with their effort of years and years
but still kept getting impeached.

Either way, I'm a hunter
I will keep pushing forward through the wind
trying to find my long lost answer
and put everything that happened behind.

Whether I'm trying to be free or reach the stars, I don't know
but whatever my answer is, I believe it will be a satisfying one
cause I will hit it in a blow
that will say "well done".
 
Jun 14
poem 2 comments challenge: General
LunaMoonBox's picture

O Lady of the Sea

It's dark and cold. Like the deepest emotion emitting from your lifeless body
The roaring waves crash on the forbidden horizon, with every beat and drum like the endless sound of thunder
Light can't reach the bottom as it pierces through watery graves.

The sun sinks down into the deep...and slowly slips into a dark slumber.
Out of all the things the sea finds floating in the water, 
She hears screams that echo through the blasting night.

They tried to hide her...
They tried to seduce her...
They tried to own her...
They wanted to drown her...

The boat was full of despair and lust for this girl.
But they knew she was everything they could never have.
The brick was tightly attached to her delicate ankle as the noose was pulling her down.
Her wrists swelled at the itchy rope digging in her pale skin.
Her blushed cheeks puffy with tears and abuse.

Nothing could save her now.