April 29th, 2014
She was admitted into the hospital today. She flat lined tonight, and we thought we lost her. The doctors brought her back. She's in the ICU now. Room #1. There are no windows, and the room is basically a prison. 

May 5th, 2014
She went into surgery today. It was a risky one, but she made it through. She isn't giving up.

May 7th, 2014
She finally switched rooms. She's settling into room #7, still in the ICU. The room has many windows, is spacious, and it's on the corner of the building. 

May 30th, 2014
She is going under the knife again. I'm very scared for her. 

May 31st, 2014
She made it through the surgery. I am overjoyed. 

June 15th, 2014
She moved around today. I heard they got her out of bed and put her into a chair. She has a bunch of "Get Well Soon" cards propped up on the window sill. 

June 30th, 2014

Soliloquy

By Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II  

Sung by Gordon MacRae, playing the character of Billy Bigelow in the 1956 film of the musical “Carousel”.

So·lil·o·quy
/səˈliləkwē/

noun
an act of speaking one's thoughts aloud when by oneself or regardless of any hearers, especially by a character in a play.

This was Billy’s Soliloquy…
Here is mine.

I sit and wait
Waiting for what?
I don’t know

I sit and wait, contemplating myself and my future
I wonder where life will take me
Where will I be in 10 years, or even 5?

I sit on the couch and wait
Waiting for the day to be over so that I can rest myself
Waiting to eat my next meal
Waiting for the next thing to begin

I sit and wait for no particular reason
Daydreaming, some might call it

Please read this. It is so important to me that this story be told. I know it's long, but it's the most important thing in my life. 

When I first took the book off the shelf, I didn't know what it would begin. I didn't know how attached to these characters I would become, and I didn't know what tears of agony I would cry when I knew that I would never know them. It all began with a book.

(Written in response to the challenge "Activist" in the workshop, Poetry with Alexandra Contreras-Montesano)

I am underestimated.

People look at me and see an average white American teenager.
13 years old
With medium length brown hair
With a quick smile and and a quicker tongue.

But people never stick around enough to find out more.
Even my closest friends have yet to scratch the surface of my dreams

I've heard all my life that I'd better marry a wealthy husband who loves me and I'll have a good life.

But maybe I don't want wealth.
Maybe I'm not looking for a Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet
I'm not some damsel in distress.
I can take care of myself thank you very much.

I want to go to college and meet new people
And have new experiances
And learn new things

Every year around two or three weeks before the snow melts and spring kicks into gear the first pair of canadian geese show up. We first see them in the fields a little way down the road, and then in our back field. When they first touchdown, they get straight to complaining. Honk honk honk, they go. We always joke about what they are saying and make up the geeses dialog.

“Dammit, i told you we should have stayed down south another three weeks”  sais one goose.

“ you should have heard yourself right before you left, i can't stand it down here i'm telling you now we should have left three weeks ago” replays the other goose.

Until the snow melts we laugh and joke about their incessant honking. When the snow dose melt they stop for the most part, that is until they have babies. When the babies are old enough to get out of the nest, the parents walk up and down the field telling everyone that they have babies and that no one should touch them.  

Dear Maria,
Have you ever been to the Dominican Republic? I went there when I was just a little kid not long after my friend was hospitalized and my family and I stayed in a hotel with a pool near the ocean. You should have seen the waves! For a little girl like I me, it felt like they were towering hands rising and then burying themselves into the beach. I wonder how I would imagine them today. Probably just as waves, but you know that I’m more creative than that, so maybe it wouldn’t be too far from those big towering hands. I saw a starfish for the first time there as well as a stingray. Have you ever pet a starfish? They’re not as soft as one might imagine, especially someone who has never touched one before, but I bet their underbellies are softer than their backs. I always imagine that they’re laying on their stomachs.

My home has been different almost every year. Home started out in Brooklyn, NY. Small town, Vermont is quite different from that. And Hanover, NH is quite different from both. I've lived in the city, the suburbs, and out in the boonies, and each setting has their perks... And their downsides in Vermont, nothing is in walking distance. In Hanover, everyone's already friends. I finally made my way into a circle of friends and let me tell you, it was not easy. Fortuneately (and unfortunately), I was too young to remember any of the bad parts of life in the city. But i imagine they existed. Home is different for everyone, and i have yet to find out where my next home will be.

Every time my family is trying to leave one of us always has one last thing they need to do. No matter how ready we are, there's always something, most of the time it makes us late. When I was little it was always my dad who had to do something, wich really pist me of me because at that time I was a time freak and would count the seconds until we had to leave. As I grew up and started to loosen up about time, I two started having last minute things to do. For example, there are ten minutes until we need to leave and I am cleaning my room even though it is completely unnecessary. Lots of times I have had many chances to clean my room leading up to leaving but for some reason or another it has to happen right then.