powered by your voice
Jun 22
jbird18's picture

Practicing Feedback & Suggestions in a Comment

I think I wrote this poem after school one day when I was struggling to come up with the brain space to write. I remember that I did not revisit the piece before submitting it and I posted it "as-was" because at the time I liked it enough to call it “done”. I could definitely revisit it and try to refine what I wanted to say, among other things. :)
 
https://youngwritersproject.org/node/11525
 
Hi jbird18, (insert something affirmation-related here)
Jun 21
Sidney B.'s picture

A Cashier Gave Me A Prompt


Full disclosure, I planned to ask another teacher for a prompt today. But, since I only had a second period exam to do today, which started at 9:55 am, I didn't go in until 9:50. Now, exams are meant to be done in absolute silence (so no one coughs the answers out in Morse code), so I didn't get to ask once I was done until the allotted time was over. Once it was, being the high school student with a sense of when to leave a teacher's classroom that I am, I went from her room to those of my other teachers and bid them adieu (I just said bye, no faux French was actually used), and then left. I was oblivious to the fact that I was promptless, and remained so until about 6:43 pm, just after dinner.
Jun 21
Della's picture

Feedback

https://youngwritersproject.org/node/11795

This poem is written in response to the prompt Grief.  While it doesn't precisely follow the prompt, not using only four stanzas and all, it describes the point of view of grief itself.

Feedback for the poem Grief
Jun 21
Della's picture

Affirmation

Response to the poem God:

I love the pacing of this poem, you have the line breaks in the perfect places.  I also like how the last line is almost a question.  It causes the reader to wonder exactly what you mean-whether he isn't God becuase the people on the subway don't see him that way, or whether the statement that he is God was merely an ego-boosting morning ritual.  This poem doesn't give you all the answers you want, because it leaves you guessing.  I loved reading this and I actually read it several times through.
Jun 21

Positive Feedback

Response to God, 

This is fantastic...the sheer novelty of reading about this man who thinks he himself is God is such a hook.I was immediately drawn in...and then the details you used! This story was so vivid in my mind, thanks to the lovely images you used. It kept the pace flowing and fed me enough interesting pods of information to keep it moving. Not a dull moment.  
 
Jun 20
Talia's picture

The Willow Tree


The Willow Tree
By Talia Gibbs

 

My whole time at Bellwether I felt like something or someone was watching over me. Now, I know what. Or should I say who…

I choose children each year to watch over. I watch over them for many reasons. I choose them because: I know they will have a big impact on the world and I want to support that, because there are challenges on the way and they need support through them, or because they have a talent or a skill that they don’t know about and need help bringing it out. Talia, is one of them. She sees me as a person. I chose her for many reasons. I know she will learn about me someday...    

 

Not until my first year of E1 did I discover who. It all started with a group of four tight friends: Monique, Christian, Benjo, and I.

 
Jun 20
Sidney B.'s picture

My English Teacher Gave Me A Prompt

So I actually remembered to ask a teacher as I planned to (hold your applause), and she said 'Disdain for speech analysis". Some context before I get to the part that should be marked as Rant/Rave.

This is the last day before exams officially start at my school, and all of my teachers this year decided to give us a few days in advance because the curriculum has been thoroughly exhausted (even Phys. Ed, we haven't played Pillow Polo in almost three days). Because of that, I don't actually have to go in on Thursday for period three and four exams (woohoo), but that also makes my window of opportunity to ask any teacher for a prompt tomorrow.
Jun 20
White Pademelon's picture

eye surgery

 So all my life from when I was like 6 years old I have had problems with my eyes.  I get these things called corneal abrasions where the top layer of my corneas stick to my eyelids at night and come off. then I can't open my eyes or it makes it worse. but every night I put eye ointment in to moisturize my eyes so they don't get dry. but my eyes are always very sensitive. and one day, the day of my birthday party, I got something in my eye. I thought it was an eyelash but when I carefully tried to get all eyelashes out of my eye it didn't help. that was one of the worst birthday parties ever. but later that week I went to an eye doctor and they numbed my eye (which I hadn't been able to before) and they looked at it with a bright light. they then gave me the news that I had a metal fragment in my eye but it came out.
Jun 20
LabrinthOctopus's picture

Dinner Disaster

         Every year, there is this landowner's dinner. It's basically a dinner thrown for people who own land on this one snowmobile trail. Well, our family owns part of that trail, so every year in November, we go to this dinner. It's about the same thing every time we go- eat dinner, talk with neighbors and friends, win raffle prizes, and socialize. That's about it. So this one night in November we are at the dinner, and everything is going smoothly. Dinner is great, and I had won this can of M&M's from some guessing jars. But then, at this point, I need to use the restroom. I'm in sixth grade, and I am thinking that I'm too grown up to ask anyone where the bathroom is, so I don't. My memory is good enough, right? So I set out with my vague recollection of where the bathroom is to go and find it.
Jun 20
Purple Cubone's picture

Grand Prix

At the end of every SBAC week the school puts on a grand prix. Every team in the school designs a car to fit the theme of the year. Well not exactly a car, mor of a tricycle, with card board, and ductape. This years theme was cartoon characters, from a movie or T.V. show. After the first 15 minutes, we had it. Our theme for the year would be Lightning McQueen. We began work at once, and by the look of it, our car was not to shabby. We had the entire body of the car covered in red paper, and lightning's decals. To go with the requirements we designed a route 66 sign that would be attached to our car, and a speach bubble, with the word KACHOW! written in big black letters, that would be attached after the route 66 sign. We never would have been able to finish in time if even one person hadn't pitched in, and even then we almost didn't finish.
Jun 20
black honeybee's picture

Getting Cut

Getting Cut

When I am at home my dad tells me to go and get him a coffee store or to get chips for my brother or basically makes me do stuff it make me feel frustrated.  It is annoying when he tells me what to do all the time.  

 Well, one day when I was in the fifth grade I was outside throwing Ninja Stars at a board. I was training to see how  good I could get at throw them.  I really liked to play with when I was 10 years old. I was wearing shorts and sandals because it was a nice day. It was summer and it was warm outside.
Jun 20
White Snail's picture

The incident at Ricker Pond-written up

Jun 20
coral jellyfish's picture

The Microwave

About two week's ago my brother and I learned a lesson. Well actually I know that I learned a lesson but I dont know if he did. The lesson was you have to be careful of what you put into a microwave. So about an hour after we had dinner my brother was wondering what a smore would taste like if you microwaved the marshmallow. When he asked if he could try it so he could see what is tasted like I decided I was going to help him because I was also wondering what it would taste like. So we found all of the stuff to make smores the graham crackers, chocolate, and the marshmallows. When we had that all set up we both grabbed a marshmallow then put them both on a plate in the microwave for one minute. When the minute was over I grabbed a marshmallow it was huge and made my smore but it did not taste good.
Jun 20
Amethyst Frog's picture

Pam the Cat

So it was August 2013 and we were going to get a cat, but that was not something that I wanted to do.  We had searched and searched for probably a year, and had found a cat that we wanted to get.  It's name started with "c" but I don't remember.  I was scared that it was going to jump up and attack my frog.  But there was nothing I could do, and the day before we went to the pet adoption place, my dad had to fill out a form.  He clicked on cats, and two came up, c-something or other and Pam.  He said, "Mom would say I want pam too" but clicked on "c________".  As he was filling out the form, I waited because I was bored and the only question that would make sense on the form to my 3.5th grade brain was "How do you and your family wash your hands?