Penelope

The leaves have fallen, leaving the trees bare and empty.
Winter's cold lips banish the flowers from the ground,
Covering it with smooth frost and dusty snow.
Winter is coming, and with it, the winds of change,

It’s killing me, the not knowing.
Not knowing if what we could've been 
Would have been better than 
What I have right now.
I don’t think you’re right for her
Look at what we could have been 

It’s starting to feel like it was all just a dream
A lost memory buried deep within the crevices in my mind
I miss the evergreen field and the hot sun that blazed my shoulders 
I miss the tall people and the calls of the umber cows

I walked to the bridge today.
It smelled like licorice and fall Vermont air.
It was windy and my hair fluttered in the wind.
My face was cold to the touch.

I stood up there so high in the air,
Watching the cars whoosh under me.

In my dream you were mine 
And when I woke up 
I could still feel the lingering touch of your hands on my waist 
And smell your coconut shampoo

Today I didn’t wake up with grogginess
I woke up with longing

Six years old and they told me
Enjoy your youth
But I didn’t care what adults told me 
I played with dolls and went down sticky slides

Ten years old and they told me 
Enjoy your youth
I rolled my eyes