Vicarious

I try to see.
Darkness surrounds me.
An oppressive darkness.
A strangling, pressing, malevolent
darkness. 
Paralyzing me.
Isolating me.
Suffocating me.
Alone.
I try to scream.
No sound can escape my mouth.

It does not come easy,
My mind will not slow.
Too many thoughts,
Too many feelings.
I tell myself;
Calm down.
Rest.
My thoughts disobey.
Anxieties,
Worries,
Regrets.
They engulf me.
My blurry eyes wander.