it's super good!! I like the word usage and the vivid emotion beneath the words. I have 2 things for you: maybe try replacing the comma after "far duller" with a period - it'd make the sentences flow nicer and sound less run-on. also, the "Dread" at the end could hit a bit harder if it was un-italicized and lowercase. just my opinions, it's your poem and it's already good, you don't need to change it if you don't want to!
Comments
it's super good!! I like the word usage and the vivid emotion beneath the words. I have 2 things for you: maybe try replacing the comma after "far duller" with a period - it'd make the sentences flow nicer and sound less run-on. also, the "Dread" at the end could hit a bit harder if it was un-italicized and lowercase. just my opinions, it's your poem and it's already good, you don't need to change it if you don't want to!
Thank you so much!
you're very welcome :D
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