act of heart

when I was thirteen 

and scared of real life

I gave out advice like candy

showering my friends with hope

and watched them grow 

like sunflowers 

out of a cold, dark earth 

I built walls that I disguised as dreams

which held me close

a young teen

waiting

for something that would never come. 

I watched kids from school learn to fall in and out of love

and become someone new

who knew what a kiss felt like 

and how euphoric it was to love 

and be loved

but time passes

and now I lie alone

breeze blowing the curtains

and letting the light 

into a bedroom that no longer belongs to a kid

but rather 

to a high schooler 

who chose logic over love

for the final time.