Before

I miss the days 

When we would run through the fields 

And swim in the pond all day 

Smiling and using kayaks 

I miss the nights 

When we would read books and laugh about the smallest things 

I want to go back 

To taking more risks 

And telling people how much I like them 

Because now 

I don’t run because I don’t want to fall 

Or swim all day because I’m worried about 

The last time I put sunscreen on 

I no longer read as much 

Because I’m doing homework 

And stressing over whether it’s good or not 

I don’t take as many risks 

Because I don’t want to get hurt 

And I don’t tell him how much I like him 

Because I’m wondering if he likes me 

Or if it will ruin our relationship 

Those were the days 

When I made up songs 

And sang them to the forest 

The trees and squirrels, silent, listening 

The afternoons where I would go sledding 

Or jumping in the snow 

Or the times when we would make up handshakes 

And do Tik Tok dances that our friends knew 

But now 

I don’t make up songs 

Because I think they are terrible and the words don't work 

I don’t sled 

Because I don’t like to walk back up the hill 

And I try to avoid the little dances 

Because I think I’m going to be the one person 

In the group who will mess it up 

But normally 

That isn’t the way it is 

I wish I could go back to the days 

When I didn’t care