Connecticut

the room smelled sweet 

sweetness a mix between

the sterile and calm

a sweet temptation just out of my reach 

there was a burning sensation 

like the one in my throat 

in the years past 

but i try to shove it down 

as if it wouldn't come up to bite me back 

your voice lighter than current 

because of the time that has gone 

the voice of the person i knew

has changed in a way i wish it hadn't 

because everyone has changed more than expected 

my naive self believed that 

you would stay the same 

no matter how fast my clock would tick 

and i would be here changed 

and you would be here alongside me the same 

the kindness of my youth stayed

the kindness of you 

your giving and guidance is what shaped me 

even if you never got to see me

these past years 

i'm glad i had the chance 

to finally heal the child inside of me 

so lost and afraid of the future 

a future without you 

and a future i was so scared of 

glows bright and proud 

happy and confident 

no longer afraid 

but still deeply missing you